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acquire: knowledge; information; experience;
property; a piece of equipment (furniture, etc);
a right (to smth.);
ill
exploit: a person; the natural resources of a country;
one's success;
promising: writer, painter, youth; weather; trip; situation;
idea;
picturesque: name; place; character; person; language;
description
13. Translate the following into English using accept, admit, receive or take according to the sense,
1. В тот вечер он принимал гостей у себя в кабинете. 2. Я не могу принять вашего объяснения. 3. Не принимайте все так близко к сердцу! 4. Лекарство следует принимать по чайной ложке три раза в день перед едой. 5. В какой же институт его приняли? 6. Нельзя принимать всерьез все, что он говорит. 7. Я принял его приглашение. 8. Она приняла его предложение руки и сердца. 9. Решение было, наконец, принято. 10. Нас всегда очень хорошо принимали в этом доме.
14. Render the following in English. Use the words and phrases given below.
ЗАГАДКИ ОКЕАНА
За многовековую историю борьбы человека с морем накопилось немало событий, загадочность которых волнует ум и воображение.
Удивительная история связана с парусным кораблем «Морская птица». Ранним солнечным утром 1850 года судно появилось у побережья американского штата Род-Айленд близ города Ньюпорт. Люди, собравшиеся на берегу, видели, что корабль идет под всеми парусами к рифам. С берега прозвучало несколько предупреждающих выстрелов, но судно продолжало идти вперед, как бы пренебрегая опасностью. Люди замерли в ожидании катастрофы. Но произошло неожиданное: когда до рифов оставалось несколько метров, огромная волна подняла парусник и перенесла его на сушу. При этом судно не получило никаких повреждений.
Добравшиеся до корабля жители ближайших поселков были поражены: на судне не было ни одной живой души! Только маленький пес приветствовал гостей веселым лаем. В камбузе они увидели на плите кипящий чайник, в кубрике еще стоял табачный дым. Из судового журнала
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стало известно, что парусник шел из Гондураса в Ньюпорт с грузом кофе и редких пород дерева. Командовал судном капитан Джон Дарем. Все его вещи находились в каюте в полной сохранности.
Со временем парусник разгрузили, пытаясь стянуть его с прибрежной отмели. Но ничего не вышло: корабль постепенно зарывался в песок. Но вот однажды ночью разразился шторм. Бурная Атлантика обрушивала огромные волны на берег. Когда океан успокоился, пришедшие к месту катастрофы не обнаружили ни судна, ни его обломков. Корабль так же таинственно исчез, как раньше пропал весь его экипаж.
the ocean jealously guards its secrets; a century-old struggle; a mysterious happening; to excite imagination; a sailing ship; the Sea Bird; to appear off the coast; Rhode Island; Newport; to go at full speed; with all sails set;
a reef; to give a shot of warning; to ignore danger; to be paralyzed with terror; the inevitable end; when but a few metres were left; a huge billow; to land smth, on the shore; not to suffer any damage; to be astounded;
there wasn't a living soul on board; to bark; a galley;
a boiling kettle; crew's quarters; to be thick with tobacco smoke; a log-book; Honduras; a cargo; rare kinds of wood; the ship's master; John Durham; a cabin; intact;
to unload; to get the ship off the sand-bank; the tempestuous Atlantic; to hurl; when the storm abated;
to disappear mysteriously
Topics for oral and written composition.
1. Character sketches of a) Lulu, the Duchess of Dulverton; b) Vasco Honiton.
Explain the title of the story.
The story of the galleon.
The part the Duchess might have played in Billy Yuttiey's- suicide.
The author's attitude to the characters of the story.
Explain why Vasco Honiton decided to name his villa the Sub-Rosa.
W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM
JANE
I remember very well the occasion on which I first saw Jane Fowler. It is indeed only because the details of the glimpse I had of her then are so clear that I trust my recollection at all, for, looking back, I must confess that I find it hard to believe that it had not played me a fantastic trick. I had lately returned to London from China and was drinking a dish of tea with Mrs Tower.
I had no notion what her age was. When I was quite a young man she was a married woman a good deal older than I, but now she treated me as her contemporary. She constantly said that she made no secret of her age, which was forty, and then added with a smile that all women took five years off. She never sought to conceal the fact that she dyed her hair (it was a very pretty brown with reddish tints), and she said she did this because hair was hideous while it was going grey; as soon as hers was white she would cease to dye it.
"Then they'll say what a young face I have."
Meanwhile it was painted, though with discretion, and her eyes owed not a little of their vivacity to art. She was.a handsome woman, exquisitely gowned, and in the sombre glow of the alabaster lamps did not look a day more than the forty she gave herself.
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"It is only at my dressing-table that I can suffer the naked brightness of a thirty-two-candle electric bulb," she added with smiling cynicism. "There I need it to tell me first the hideous truth and then to enable me to take the necessary steps to correct it. "
We gossiped pleasantly about our common friends and Mrs Tower brought me up to date in the scandal of the day. After roughing it here and there it was very agreeable to sit in a comfortable chair, the fire burning brightly on the hearth, charming tea-things set out on a charming table, and talk
with this amusing, attractive woman. She treated me as a prodigal returned from his husks1 and was disposed to make much of me. She prided herself on her dinner-parties; she took no less trouble to have guests suitably assorted than to give them excellent food; and there were few persons who did not look upon it as a treat to be bidden2 to one of them. Now she fixed a date and asked me whom I would like to meet.
"There's only one thing I must tell you. If Jane Fowler is still here I shall have to put it off."
"Who is Jane Fowler?" I asked.
Mrs Tower gave a rueful smile.
"Jane Fowler is my cross.
"Oh!"
"Do you remember a photograph that 1 used to have on the piano of a woman in a tight dress with tight sleeves and a gold locket, with hair drawn back from a broad forehead and her ears showing and spectacles on a rather blunt nose? Well, that was Jane Fowler."
"Well who is Jane Fowler?" I asked again, smiling
"She's my sister-in-law. She was my husband's sister and she married a manufacturer in the North. She's been a widow for many years, and she's very well-to-do."
"And why is she your cross?"
"She's worthy, she's dowdy, she's provincial. She looks twenty years older than I do and she's quite capable of telling anyone she meets that we were at school together. She has an overwhelming sense of family affection and because I am her only living connexion3 she's devoted to me When she comes to London it never occurs to her that she should stay anywhere but here—she thinks it would hurt my feelings —and she'll pay me visits of three or jour weeks. We sit here and she knits and reads And sometimes she insists on taking me to dine at Claridge's4 and she looks like a funny old charwoman5 and everyone I particularly don't want to be seen by is sitting at the next table."
Mrs Tower paused to take breath.
"I should have thought a woman of your tact would finda way to deal with a situation like that."
"Ah, but don't you see, I haven't a chance She's so immeasurably kind. She has a heart of gold She bores me to death, but I wouldn't for anything let her suspect it.'"
"And when does she arrive?"
"Tomorrow."
But the answer was hardly out of Mrs Tower's mouth
when the bell rang. There were sounds in the hall of a slight commotion and in a minute or two the butler ushered in an elderly lady.
"Mrs Fowler," he announced.
"Jane," cried Mrs Tower, springing to her feet. "I wasn't expecting you today."
"So your butler has just told me. I certainly said today in my letter."
Mrs Tower recovered her wits. "
"Well, it doesn't matter. I'm very glad to see you whenever you come. Fortunately I'm doing nothing this evening."
"You mustn't let me give you any trouble. If I can have a boiled egg for my dinner that's all I shall want."
A faint grimace for a moment distorted Mrs Tower's handsome features. A boiled egg!
"Oh, I think we can do a little better than that."
I chuckled inwardly when I recollected that the two ladies were contemporaries. Mrs Fowler looked a good fifty-five. She was a rather big woman; she wore a black straw hat with a wide brim and from it a black lace veil hung over her shoulders, a cloak that oddly combined severity with fussiness, a long black dress, voluminous as though she wore several petticoats under it, and stout boots. She was evidently short-sighted, for she looked at you through large gold-rimmed spectacles.
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"Won't you have a cup of tea?" asked Mrs Tower.
"If it wouldn't be too much trouble."
I felt it high time for me to leave the two ladies to themselves, so I took my leave.
Early next morning Mrs Tower rang me up and I heard at once from her voice that she was in high spirits.
"I've got the most wonderful news for you," she said. "Jane is going to be married."
"Nonsense."
"Her fiance is coming to dine here tonight to be introduced to me and I want you to come too."
"Oh, but I shall be in the way."
"No, you won't. Jane suggested herself that I should ask you. Do come."
When I arrived Mrs Tower, very splendid in a tea-gown a little too young for her, was alone.
"Jane is putting the finishing touches to her appearance. I 'm longing for you to seeTher. She's all in a flutter. She
says he adores her. His name is Gilbert and when she speaks of him her voice gets all funny and tremulous. It makes me want to laugh."
"I wonder what he's like."
"Oh, I'm sure I know. Very big and massive, with a bald head and an immense gold chain across an immense tummy.7 A large, fat, clean-shaven, red face and a booming voice."
Mrs Fowler came in. She wore a very stiff black silk dress with a wide skirt and a train. At the neck it was cut into a timid V and the sleeves came down to the elbows. She wore a necklace of diamonds set in silver. She carried in her hands a long pair of black gloves and a fan of black ostrich feathers. She managed (as so few people do) to look exactly what she was. You could have never thought her anything in the world but the respectable relict of a North-country manufacturer of ample means.
"You've really got quite a pretty neck, Jane," said Mrs Tower with a kindly smile.
It was indeed astonishingly young when you compared it with her weather-beaten face. It was smooth and unlined and ' the skin was white. And I noticed then that her head was very well placed on her shoulders.
"Has Marion told you my news?" she said, turning to me with that really charming smile of hers as if we were already old friends.
"I must congratulate you," I said.
"Wait to do that till you've seen my young man."
"I think it's too sweet to hear you talk of your young man," smiled Mrs Tower.
Mrs Fowler's eyes certainly twinkled behind her preposterous (absurd, perverse) spectacles.
"Don't expect anyone too old. You wouldn't like me to marry a decrepit old gentleman with one foot in the grave, would you?"
This was the only warning she gave us. Indeed there was no time for any further discussion, for the butler flung open the door and in a loud voice announced:
"Mr Gilbert Napier."
There entered a youth in a very well-cut dinner jacket. He was slight, not very tall, with fair hair in which there was a hint of a natural wave, clean-shaven, and blue-eyed. He was not particularly good-looking, but he had a pleasant, amiable face. He was certainly not more than twenty-four. My first thought was that this was the son of Jane Fowler's
fiance (I had not known he was a widower) come to say that his father was prevented from dining by a sudden attack of gout. But his eyes fell immediately on Mrs Fowler, his face lit up, and he went towards her with both hands outstretched. Mrs Fowler gave him hers, a demure smile on her lips, and turned to her sister-in-law.
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"This is my young man, Marion," she said.
He held out his hand_
"I hope you'll like me, Mrs Tower," he said. "Jane tells me you're the only relation she has in the world."
Mrs Tower's face was wonderful to behold. I saw then to admiration how bravely good breeding and social usage could combat the instincts of the natural woman. For the astonishment and then the dismay that for an instant she could not conceal were quickly driven away, and her face assumed an expression of affable welcome. But she was evidently at a loss for words. It was not unnatural if Gilbert felt a certain embarrassment and I was too busy preventing myself from laughing to think of anything to say. Mrs Fowler alone kept perfectly calm.
"I know you'll like him, Marion. There's no one enjoys good food more than he does.'' She turned to the young man. "Marion's dinners are famous."
"I know," he beamed.
Mrs Tower made some quick rejoinder and we went downstairs. I shall not soon forget the exquisite comedy of that meal. Mrs Tower could not make up her mind whether the pair of them were playing a practical joke on her or whether Jane by wilfully concealing her fiance's age had hoped to make her look foolish; But then Jane never jested and she was incapable of doing a malicious thing. Mrs Tower was amazed, exasperated, and perplexed. But she had recovered her self-control, and for nothing would she have forgotten that she was a perfect hostess whose duty it was to make her party go.8 She talked vivaciously; but I wondered if Gilbert Napier saw how hard and vindictive was the expression of her eyes behind the mask of friendliness that she turned to him. She was measuring him. She was seeking to delve into the secret of his soul. I could see that she was in a passion, for under her rouge her cheeks glowed with an angry red.
"You've got a very high colour, Marion," said Jane, looking at her amiably through her great round spectacles.
"I dressed in a hurry. I dare say I put on too much rouge."
"Oh, is it rouge? I thought it was natural. Otherwise I
shouldn't have mentioned it." She gave Gilbert a shy little smile. "You know, Marion and I were at school together. You would never think it to look at us now, would you? But of course I've lived a very quiet life. "
I do not know what she meant by these remarks; it was almost incredible that she made them in complete simplicity; but anyhow they goaded Mrs Tower to such a fury that she flung her own vanity to the winds.9 She smiled brightly.
"We shall neither of us see fifty again, Jane," she said.
If the observation was meant to discomfit the widow it failed.
"Gilbert says I mustn't acknowledge to more than forty-nine for his sake," she answered blandly.
Mrs Tower's hands trembled slightly, but she found a retort.
"There is of course a certain disparity of age between you," she smiled.
"Twenty-seven years," said Jane. "Do you think it's too much? Gilbert says I'm very young for my age. I told you I shouldn't like to marry a man with one foot in the grave."
I was really obliged to laugh and Gilbert laughed too. His laughter was frank and boyish. It looked as though he were amused at everything Jane said.
"I suppose you're very busy buying your trousseau," I said.
"No, I wanted to get my things from the dressmaker in Liverpool I've been to ever since I was first married. But' " Gilbert won't let me. He's very masterful, and of course he has wonderful taste.", f She looked at him with a little affectionate (nice, tender) smile, demurely, as though she were a girl of seventeen.
Mrs Tower went quite pale under her make-up.
"We're going to Italy for our honeymoon. Gilbert has never had a chance of studying Renaissance architecture and of course it's important for an architect to see things for himself. And we shall stop in Paris on the way and get my clothes "there."
"Do you expect to be away long?"
"Gilbert has arranged with his office to stay away for six months. It will be such a treat for him, won't it? You see, he's never had more than a fortnight's holiday before."
"Why not?" asked Mrs Tower in a tone that no effort of will could prevent from being icy.
"He's never been able to afford it, poor dear."
"Ah" said Mrs Tower, and into the exclamation put volumes.10
Coffee was served and the ladies went upstairs, but in two minutes a note was brought in to me by the butler. It was from Mrs Tower and ran as follows:
"Come upstairs quickly and then go as soon as you can. Take him with you. Unless I have it out11 with Jane at once I shall have a fit,"
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I told a facile (soft) lie.
"Mrs Tower has a headache and wants to go to bed. I think if you don't mind we'd better clear out."
"Certainly," he answered.
We went upstairs and five minutes later were on the doorstep. I called a taxi and offered the young man a lift.
"No, thanks," he answered. "I'll just walk to the corner and jump on a bus."
Mrs Tower sprang to the fray (fight) 12 as soon as she heard the front-door close behind us.' "
"Are you crazy, Jane?" she cried.
"Not more than most people who don't habitually live in a lunatic asylum, I trust," Jane answered blandly (bluntly).
"May I ask you why you're going to marry this young man?" asked Mrs Tower with formidable politeness.
"Partly because he won't take no for an answer. He's asked me five times. I grew positively tired of refusing him."
"And why do you think he's so anxious to marry you?"
"I amuse him."
Mrs Tower gave an exclamation of annoyance.
"He's an unscrupulous rascal. I very nearly told him so to his face".
"You would have been wrong, and it wouldn't have been very polite."
"He's penniless and you're rich. You can't be such a besotted, fool as not to see that he's marrying you for your money."
Jane remained perfectly composed (calm). She observed her sister-in-law with detachment (отчуждение).
"I don't think he is, you know," she replied. "I think he's very fond of me."
"You're an old woman, Jane."
"I'm the same age as you are, Marion," she smiled.
"I've never let myself go. I'm very young for my age.
No one would think I was more than forty. But even I wouldn't dream of marrying a boy twenty years younger than myself."
"Twenty-seven," corrected Jane.
"Do you mean to tell me that you can bring yourself to believe that it's possible for a young man to care for a woman old enough to be his mother?"
"I've lived very much in the country for many years. I dare say there's a great deal a bout human nature that I don't know. They tell me there's a man called Freud,13 an Austrian, I believe..."
But Mrs Tower interrupted her without any politeness at all.
"Don't be ridiculous, Jane. It's so undignified. It's so ungraceful. I always thought you were a sensible woman. Really you're the last person I should ever have thought likely to fall in love with a boy."
"But I'm not in love with him. I've told him that. Of course I like him very much or I wouldn't think of marrying him. I thought it only fair to tell him quite plainly what my feelings were towards him."
Mrs Tower gasped.
" If you're not in love with him why do you want to marry him?"
"I've been a widow a very long time and I've led a very quiet life. I thought I'd like a change."
"If you want to marry just to be married whydon't you marry a man of your own age?"
"No man of my own age has asked me five times. In fact no man of my own age has asked me at all."
Jane chuckled as she answered. It was altogether too much for Mrs Tower and she burst into tears.
"You're going to be so dreadfully unhappy," Mrs Tower sobbed.
"I don't think so, you know," Jane answered in those equable, mild tones of hers, as if there were a little smile behind the words. "We've talked it over very thoroughly. I always think I'm a very easy person to live with. I think I shall make Gilbert very happy and comfortable. He's never had ' anyone to look after him properly. We're only marrying after mature consideration. And we've decided that if either of us wants his liberty the other will place no obstacles in the way of his getting it."
Mrs Tower had by now recovered herself sufficiently to make a cutting remark.
"How much has he persuaded you to settle on him?" "I wanted to settle a thousand a year on him, but he wouldn't hear of it. He was quite upset when I made the suggestion. He says he can earn quite enough for his own needs."
"He's more cunning than I thought," said Mrs Tower acidly. Mrs Tower gathered herself together with dignity,
"I'm so upset that I really must go to bed," she said. "We'll resume the conversation tomorrow morning."
"I'm afraid that won't be very convenient, dear. Gilbert and I are going to get the licence14 tomorrow morning."
The marriage took place at a registrar's office. "Mrs Tower and I were the witnesses. Gilbert in a smart blue suit looked absurdly young and he was obviously nervous. It is a trying moment for any man. But Jane kept her admirable composure. She might have been in the habit of marrying as frequently as a woman of fashion. Only a slight colour on her cheeks suggested that beneath her calm was some faint excitement. We saw them off, and I drove Mrs Tower back to her house.
"How long do you give it?" she said. "Six months?"
"Let's hope for the best," I smiled.
"Don't be so absurd. There can be no 'best'. You don't think he's marrying her for anything but her money, do you? Of course it can't last. My only hope is that she won't have to go through as much suffering as she deserves."
I laughed. The charitable (милосердные) words were spoken in such a tone as to leave me in small doubt of Mrs Tower's meaning.
"Well, if it doesn't last you'll have the consolation of saying: 'I told you so'," I said.
"I promise you I'll never do that."
"Then you'll have the satisfaction of congratulating yourself on your self-control in not saying: 'I told you so'!"
"She's old and dowdy and dull."
"Are you sure she's dull?" I said. "It's true she doesn't say very much, but when she says anything it's very much to the point."
"I've never heard her make a joke in my life."
I was once more in the Far East when Gilbert and Jane returned from their honeymoon and this time I remained away for nearly two years. Mrs Tower was a bad correspondent and though I sent her an occasional picture-postcard I received no news from her. But I met her within a week of my return
to London; I was dining out16 and found that I was seated next to her. When Mrs Tower and I had exchanged the conventional remarks that two people make when they have not seen one another for a couple of years I asked about Jane.
"She's very well," said Mrs Tower with a certain dryness.
"How has the marriage turned out?"
Mrs Tower paused a little and took a salted almond from the dish in front of her.
"It appears to be quite a success.".
"You were wrong then?"
"I said it wouldn't last and I still say it won't last. It's contrary to human nature."
"Is she happy?"
"They're both happy."
"I suppose you don't see very much of them. "
"At first I saw, quite a lot of them. But now..." Mrs Tower pursed her lips a little. "Jane is becoming very grand."
"What do you mean?" I laughed.
"I think I should tell you that she's here tonight."
"Here?"
I was startled. I looked round the table again. Our hostess was a delightful and an entertaining woman, but I could not imagine that she would be likely to invite to a dinner such as this the elderly "and dowdy wife of an obscure architect. Mrs Tower saw my perplexity and was shrewd enough to see what was in my mind. She smiled thinly.
"Look on the left of our host."
I looked. Oddly enough the woman who sat there had by | her fantastic appearance attracted my attention the moment I was ushered into the crowded drawing-room. I thought I noticed a gleam of recognition in her eye, but to the best of my belief I had never seen her before. She was not a young woman, for her hair was iron-grey; it was cut very short and clustered thickly round her well-shaped head in tight curls. She made no. attempt at youth, for she was conspicuous (evident) (con – with + specere – look at) in that gathering by using neither lipstick, rouge, nor powder. Her face, not a particularly handsome one, was red and weather-beaten; but because it owed nothing to artifice (handcraft) (arti(ars) + facere) had a naturalness that was very pleasing. It contrasted oddly with the whiteness of her shoulders. They were really magnificent. A woman of thirty might have been proud of them. But her dress was extraordinary. I had not often seen anything more audacious (brave, daring, careless). It was cut very low, with short skirts, which were
then the fashion, in black and yellow; it had almost the effect of fancy-dress and yet so became her that though on anyone else it would have been outrageous, on her it had the inevitable simplicity of nature. And to complete the impression of an eccentricity in which there was no pose and of an extravagance in which there was no ostentation (ostentare – to show) she, wore attached by a broad black ribbon, a single eyeglass.
"You're not going to tell me that is your sister-in-law," I gasped.
"That is Jane Napier," said Mrs Tower icily.
"Let me have a long drink of champagne and then for heaven's sake tell me all about it," I said.
Well, this is how I gathered it had all happened. At the beginning of their honeymoon Gilbert took Jane to various dressmakers in Paris and he made no objection to her choosing a number of "gowns" after her own heart; but he persuaded her to have a "frock" or two made according to his own design. It appeared that he had a knack for that kind of work. He engaged a smart French maid.
Gilbert and the French maid taught her how to wear her clothes, and, unexpectedly enough, she was very quick at learning.
So they went down to Italy and spent happy months studying Renaissance and Baroque architecture. Jane not only grew accustomed to her changed appearance, but found she liked it. Pygmalion17 had finished his fantastic masterpiece: Galatea had come to life.
"Yes," I said, "but that isn't enough to explain why Jane is here tonight amid this crowd of duchesses, Cabinet Ministers, and suchlike; nor why she is sitting on one side of her host with an Admiral of the Fleet on the other."
"Jane is a humorist," said Mrs Tower. "Didn't you see them all laughing at what she said?"
There was no doubt now of the bitterness in Mrs Tower's heart.
"When Jane wrote and told me they were back from their honeymoon I thought I must ask them both to dinner. I didn't much like the idea, but I felt it had to be done." I knew the party would be deadly and I wasn't going to sacrifice any of the people who really mattered. On the other hand I didn't want Jane to think I hadn't any nice friends. I'd been too busy to see Jane until the evening of the party. She kept ' us all waiting a little — that was Gilbert's cleverness — and at last she sailed in. You could have knocked me down with
a feather.l8 She made the rest of the women look dowdy (old fashioned) and provincial. She made me feel like a painted old trollop (prostitute) (trollen - roll about). Mrs Tower drank a little champagne. "I wish I could describe the frock to you. It would have been quite impossible on anyone else; on her it was perfect. And the eyeglass! I'd known her for thirty-five years and I'd never seen her without spectacles."
"But you knew she had a good figure." "How should I? I'd never seen her except in the clothes you first saw her in. Did you think she had a good figure? She seemed not to be unconscious of the sensation she made but to take it as a matter of course. I thought of my dinner and heaved a sigh of relief. Even if she was a little heavy in hand,19 with that appearance it didn't so very much matter. She was sitting at the other end of the table and I heard a good deal of laughter. I was glad to think that the other people were playing up well;20 but after dinner I was a good deal taken aback when no less than three men came up to me and told me that my sister-in-law was priceless, and did I think she would allow them to call on her? I didn't quite know whether I was standing on my head or my heels. Twenty-four hours later our hostess of tonight rang me up and said she had heard my sister-in-law was in London and she was priceless and would I ask her to luncheon to meet her? She has an infallible instinct, that woman: in a month everyone was talking about Jane. I am here tonight, not because I've known our hostess for twenty years and have asked her to dinner a hundred times, but because I'm Jane's sister-in-law." "I'm dying to renew my acquaintance with her." 'Go and talk to her after dinner. She'll ask you to her Tuesdays."
"Her Tuesdays?"
"She's at home21 every Tuesday evening. You'll -meet there everyone you have heard of. They're the best parties in London. She's done in one year what I've failed to do in •twenty."
"But what you tell me is really miraculous. How has it been done?"
Mrs Tower shrugged her handsome but adiposeshoulders. "I shall be glad if you'll tell me," she replied.
After dinner I tried to make my way to the sofa on which Jane was sitting, but I was intercepted and it was not till a little later that my hostess came up to me and said:
"I must introduce you to the star of my party. Do you
know Jane Napier? She's priceless. She's much more amusing' than your comedies."
I was taken up to the sofa. The admiral who had been sitting beside her at dinner was with her still. He showed no sign of moving and Jane, shaking hands with me, introduced me to him.
"Do you know Sir Reginald Frobisher?"
We began to chat. It was the same Jane as 1 had known before, perfectly simple, homely and unaffected, but her fantastic appearance certainly gave a peculiar savour (taste, season, flavour, smack) to what she said. Suddenly I found myself shaking with laughter. She had made a remark, sensible and to the point, but not in the least witty, which her manner of saying and the bland look she gave me through her eyeglass made perfectly irresistible. I felt light-hearted and buoyant. When I left she said to me:
"If you've got nothing better to do, come and see us on Tuesday evening. Gilbert will be so glad to see you.'*
"When he's been a month in London he'll know that he can have nothing better to do," said the admiral.
So, on Tuesday but rather late, I went to Jane's. I confess I was a little surprised at the company. It was a quite a remarkable collection of writers, painters and politicians, actors, great ladies and great beauties: Mrs Tower was right, it was a grand party. No particular entertainment was provided. The refreshments were adequate without being luxurious. Jane in her quiet way seemed to be enjoying herself;
I could not see that she took a great deal of trouble with her guests, but they seemed to like being there and the gay, pleasant party did not break up till two in the morning. After that I saw much of her. I am an amateur of humour and I sought to discover in what lay her peculiar gift. It was impossible to repeat anything she said, for the fun, like certain wines, would not travel. She had no gift for epigram. She never made a brilliant repartee. There was no malice in her remarks nor sting in her rejoinders. There are those who think that impropriety, rather than brevity, is the soul of wit;22 but she never said a thing that could have brought a blush to a Victorian cheek.23 I think her humour was unconscious and I am sure it was unpremeditated. It depended on the way she spoke and on the way she looked. Gilbert was delighted with her success. As 1 came to know him better I grew to like him. It was quite evident that he was neither a rascal nor a fortune-hunter. He was not only immensely proud of Jane but genuinely devoted to her
"Well, what do you think of Jane now?" he said to me once, with boyish triumph.
"I don't know which of you is more wonderful," I said. "You or she."
"Oh, I'm nothing."
"Nonsense. You don't think I'm such a fool as not to see that it's you, and only you, who've made Jane what she is."
„ 'My only merit is that I saw what was there when it wasn't obvious to the naked eye ' he answered.
"I can understand you seeing that she had in her the possibility of that remarkable appearance, but how in the world have you made her into a humorist?"
"But I always thought the things she said a perfect scream.24 She was always a humorist."
"You're the only person who ever thought so."
Mrs Tower, not without magnanimity, acknowledged that she had been mistaken in Gilbert. She grew quite attached to him. But notwithstanding appearances she never faltered in her opinion that the marriage could not last. I was obliged to laugh at her.
"Why, I've never seen such a devoted couple," I said.
"Gilbert is twenty-seven now. It's just the time for a pretty girl to come along. Did you notice the other evening at Jane's that pretty little niece of Sir Reginald's? I thought Jane was looking at them both with a good deal of attention, and I wondered to myself."
"I don't believe Jane fears the rivalry of any girl under the sun."
"Wait and see," said Mrs Tower.
"You gave it six months."
"Well, now I give it three years."
When anyone is very positive in an opinion it is only human nature to wish him proved wrong. Mrs Tower was really too cocksure. But such a satisfaction was not mine, for the end that she had always and confidently predicted to the ill-assorted match did in point of fact come. Still, the fates seldom give us what we want in the way we want it, and though Mrs Tower could flatter herself that she had been right, I think after all she would sooner have been wrong. For things did not happen at all in the way she expected.
One day I received an urgent message from her and fortunately went to see her at once. When I was shown into the room Mrs Tower rose from her chair and came towards me with the stealthy swiftness of a leopard stalking his prey. I saw that she was excited.
"Jane and Gilbert have separated," she said."
"Not really?26 Well, you were right after all."
Mrs Tower looked at me with an expression I could not understand.
"Poor Jane," I muttered.
"Poor Jane!" she repeated,but in tones of such derisionthat I was dumbfounded.
She found some difficulty in telling me exactly what had occurred.
Gilbert had left her a moment before she leaped to the telephone to summon me. When he entered the room, pale and distraught, she saw at once that something terrible had happened. She knew what he was going to say before he said it.
"Marion, Jane has left me."
She gave him a little smile and took his hand.
"I knew you'd behave like a gentleman. It would have been dreadful for her for people to think that you had left her."
"I've come to you because I knew I could count on your sympathy."
"Oh, I don't blame you, Gilbert," said Mrs Tower, very kindly. "It was bound to happen."
He sighed.
"I suppose so. I couldn't hope to keep her always. She was too wonderful and I'm a perfectly commonplace fellow."
Mrs Tower patted his hand He was really behaving beautifully.
"And what's going to happen now?"
"Well, she's going to divorce me."
"Jane always said she'd put no obstacle in your way if ever you wanted to marry a girl."
"You don't think it's likely I should ever be willing to marry anyone else after being Jane's husband," he answered.
Mrs Tower was puzzled.
"Of course you mean that you've left Jane."
"I? That's the last thing I should ever do."
"Then why is she divorcing you?"
"She's going to marry Sir Reginald Frobisher as soon as the decree28 is made absolute."
Mrs Tower positively screamed. Then she felt so faint that she had to get her smelling salts.
"After all you've done for her?"
"I've done nothing for her."
"Do you mean to say you're going to allow yourself to be made use of like that?"
'' We, arranged before we married that if either of us wanted his liberty the other should put no hindrance in the way."
"But that was done on your account. Because you were twenty-seven years younger than she was."
"Well, it's come in very useful for her," he answered bitterly.
Mrs Tower expostulated, argued, and reasoned; but Gilbert insisted that no rules applied to Jane, and he must do exactly what she wanted. He left Mrs Tower prostrate. She was still in a state of extreme agitation when the door was opened and the butler showed in — Jane herself. She was dressed in black and white as no doubt befitted her slightly ambiguous position but in a dress so original and fantastic, in a hat so striking that I positively gasped at the sight of her. But she was as ever bland and collected. She came forward to kiss Mrs Tower, but Mrs Tower withdrew herself with icy dignity.
"Gilbert has been here," she said.
"Yes, I know," smiled Jane. "I told him to come and see you. I'm going to Paris tonight and I want you to be very kind to him while I'm away. I'm afraid just at first he'll be rather lonely and I shall feel more comfortable if I can count on your keeping an eye on him."
Mrs Tower clasped her hands.
"Gilbert has just told me something that I can hardly bring myself to believe. He tells me that you're going to divorce him to marry Reginald Frobisher."
"Don't you remember, before I married Gilbert you advised me to marry a man of my own age? The admiral is fifty-three."
"But, Jane, you owe everything to Gilbert," said Mrs Tower indignantly. "You wouldn’t exist without him. Without him to design you clothes, you'll be nothing."
"Oh, he's promised to go on designing my clothes," Jane answered blandly.
"No woman could want a better husband. He's always been kindness itself to you."
"Oh, I know he's been sweet."
"How can you be so heartless?"
"But I was never in love with Gilbert," said Jane. "I always told him that. I'm beginning to feel the need of the
companionship of a man of my own age. I think I've probably been married to Gilbert long enough. The young have no conversation." She paused a little and gave us both a charming smile. "Of course I shan't lose sight of Gilbert. I've arranged that with Reginald. The admiral has a niece that would just suit him. As soon as we're married we'll ask them to stay with us at Malta — you know that the admiral is to have the Mediterranean Command—and I shouldn't be at all surprised if they fell in love with one another."
Mrs Tower gave a little sniff.
"And you have arranged with the admiral that if you want your liberty neither should put any hindrance in the way of the other?"
"I suggested it," Jane answered with composure. "But the admiral says he knows a good thing when he sees it and he won't want to marry anyone else, and if anyone wants to marry me — he has eight twelve-inch guns on his flagship and he'll discuss the matter at short range." She gave us a look through her eyeglass which even the fear of Mrs Tower's wrath could not prevent me from laughing at. "I think the admiral's a very passionate man."
Mrs Tower gave me an angry frown.
"I never thought you funny, Jane," she said. "I never understood why people laughed at the things you said."
"I never thought I was funny myself, Marion," smiled Jane, showing her bright, regular teeth. "lam glad to leave London before too many people come round to your opinion."
"I wish you'd tell me the secret of your astonishing success," I said.
She turned to me with that bland, homely look I knew so well.
"You know, when I married Gilbert and settled in London and people began to laugh at what I said no one was more surprised than I was. I'd said the same things for thirty years and no one ever saw anything to laugh at. I thought it must be my clothes or my bobbed hair or my eyeglass. Then I discovered it was because I spoke the truth. It was so unusual that people thought it humorous. One of these days someone else will discover the secret and when people habitually tell the truth of course there'll be nothing funny in it."
"And why am I the only person not to think it funny?" asked Mrs Tower.
Jane hesitated a little as though she were honestly searching for a satisfactory explanation.
"Perhaps you don't know the truth when you see it, Marion, dear," she answered in her mild good-natured way.
It certainly gave her the last word. I felt that Jane would always have the last word. She was priceless.
NOTES
1. husks: the dry outer covering of seeds, esp. of grain;
a prodigal returned from his husks: a wanderer who had come home from his worthless, useless travels.
The allusion here is to the biblical character of the Prodigal Son who returns home to repent the years he had spent in waste and sin; his homecoming was celebrated by the killing of the fatted calf.
The prodigal's homecoming is described in the New Testament (Luke, XV, 14—16) in the following lines:
"And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that country; and he began to be in want.... And he would fain have been filled with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him." «... и он рад был наполнить чрево свое рожками, которые ели свиньи».
2. to be bidden: to be invited
3. connexion: a relative
4. Claridge's: a fashionable, extremely expensive hotel in London
5. charwoman: a woman who works by the day at rough housev/ork, scrubbing, cleaning, etc.
6. recovered her wits: regained control of herself 7 tummy (colloq.): the stomach
8. to make her party go: to make the party a success
9. she flung her own vanity to the winds: she discarded all consideration for her own vanity, sacrificing it completely
10. and into the exclamation put volumes: the exclamation was full of significance, it was meant to express her feelings to the full
11. have it out: to discuss and come to an understanding on a matter
12. sprang to the fray: started her attack
13. Freud, Sigmund. (1856—1939), Professor ot neurology at Vienna University, founder of psychoana lysis, a method of investigation of mental processes and the motives
of conduct, based on a supposed conflict between the conscious will and subconscious or unconscious impressions, desires, etc. which results in various "repressions" and "complexes"
14. licence: a marriage licence, a formal document granting permission to marry
15. The marriage took place at a registrar's off ice: they were married before a registrar (an official who keeps the records of births, marriages, deaths), without a religious ceremony
16. dine out: to eat dinner away from home
17. Pygmalion: in Greek mythology, a king of Cyprus, and a sculptor, who was said to have fallen in love with the ivory statue of a maiden he himself had made, and to have prayed to Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and •beauty, to breathe life into it. The statue was brought to life and Pygmalion married the maiden, whom he called Galatea.
18. You could have knocked me down with a feather: a phrase used to show that a person is speechless with surprise
19. a little heavy in hand: a poor conversationalist, a bore
20. were playing up well: were tackling the job quite successfully
21. be at home: to give receptions at one's house
22. impropriety, rather than brevity is the soul of wit:
something improper, indecent, ambiguous is sooner appreciated than a truly witty statement.
" Brevity is the soul of wit ": краткость—душа таланта, a phrase from Shakespeare's tragedy "Hamlet, Prince of Denmark".
23. could have brought a blush to a Victorian cheek: could have shocked a person brought up according to the principles of the England in the reign of Queen Victoria (1837—1901), showing the middle-class respectability, prudery (благоразумие) bigotry (нетерпимость), etc.
24. a perfect scream (colloq.): a person or thing that is very funny or ridiculous
25. Not really? (an expression of interest, surprise, doubt, etc.) «He может быть!»
26. decree, decree nisi (Lat.): order for a divorce, becoming absolute after a fixed period (usu. six weeks)
EXERCISES
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