Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

 

***** 34 *****

I find it ironic (Я нахожу это ироничным) that the colors (что цвета) red (красный), white (белый), and blue (и голубой) stand for freedom (обозначают свободу) until they are (в то время как они) flashing behind you (мигают позади тебя).

 

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

 

***** 35 *****

Life (Жизнь) is all about perspective (полна перспектив). The sinking (Гибель) of the Titanic (Титаника) was a miracle (была чудом) to the lobsters (для омаров) in the ship's kitchen (с кухни корабля).

 

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

 

***** 36 *****

Work is (Работа это) just something (только то, что) I'm doing (я делаю) until I win (пока я не выиграю) the lottery (в лотерею).

 

Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.

 

***** 37 *****

The best part (Лучшая часть) of going to work (в работе) is coming back (это возвращаться) home (домой) at the end (в конце) of the day (рабочего дня).

 

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

 

***** 38 *****

My neighbors (Мои соседи) are listening (слушают) to great music (хорошую музыку). Whether they like it (Невзирая нравится она) or not (или нет).

 

My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.

 

***** 39 *****

Fantastic exercise (Фантастическое упражнение) that really (которое действительно) helps you (поможет тебе) to lose weight (сбросить вес): Turn your head (Поверни свою голову) to the left (налево). Good (Хорошо). Turn your head (Поверни свою голову) to the right (направо). Very good (Очень хорошо). Repeat this exercise (Повтори это упражнение) whenever (всякий раз, когда) you are offered (тебе предложат) any food (какую-нибудь еду).

 

Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

***** 40 *****

When my (Когда моему) three-year-old (трех летнему *ребенку) was told (сказали) to pee in a cup (пописать в банку/чашку) at the doctor’s office (в кабинете врача), he unexpectedly (он неожиданно) got nervous (занервничал). With a shaking voice (Дрожащим голосом), he asked (он спросил), “ Do I have to drink it (Я должен выпить это)?”

 

When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”

 

***** 41 *****

Little Johnny asks his mum (Вовочка спрашивает свою маму), “ Mum (Мама), do all fairy tales (все сказки) begin with (начинаются с) ‘ Once upon a time (Давным-давно) in a faraway land (в далекой стране)’?”

“ No darling (Нет милый),” says his mother (говорит его мама), somewhat distressed (несколько огорчено), “ Sometimes (Иногда), they can begin with (они могут начинаться с) ‘ I’ve got too much wor k (У меня много работы) in the office (в офисе) tonight (сегодня вечером), I’ll come home later (Я приду домой поздно)’.”

 

Little Johnny asks his mum, “Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time in a faraway land’?”

“No darling,” says his mother, somewhat distressed, “Sometimes, they can begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the office tonight, I’ll come home later'."

***** 42 *****

A recent study (Недавнее исследование) has found (показало) that women (что женщины) who carry (которые носят) a little extra weight (немного лишнего веса) live longer (живут дольше) than the men (чем мужчины) who mention it (которые упоминают от этом).

 

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

 

***** 43 *****

Isn't it great (Разве не здорово) to live (жить) in the 21st century (в 21 веке)? Where (Где) deleting history (удаление истории) has become (стало) more important (более важным) than making it (чем создание ее).

 

Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.

 

***** 44 *****

Feeling pretty proud (Испытываю чувство гордости) of myself (за себя). The Sesame Street puzzle (В мозаике Улица Сезам) I bought (которую я купил) said 3-5 years (сказано от 3 до 5 лет), but I (но я) finished it (закончил ее) in 18 months (за 18 месяцев).

 

Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.

 

***** 45 *****

It is important (Важно) to make breaks (делать перерывы) between individual exercises (между отдельными упражнениями). I personally (Я лично) stick to breaks (придерживаюсь перерывов) of about 3-4 years (около 3-4 лет).