Unit 2. The Family as a socializing agent

& — READING&SPEAKING

HOW WE LEARN TO BEHAVE

Task 1. Discuss the following questions with the group:

• Who/ What teaches us how to behave?
• Should children be punished for their misbehaviour?
• Why do people from different cultures behave differently?

 

Task 2. Read the text “How we learn to behave” to check your answers in Task 1. Then translate the text in the written form.

HOW WE LEARN TO BEHAVE

Being polite, neat, and family-oriented are characteristics of the well-socialized American. Socialization [6] is the process of learning how to behave in the society we live in. For societies to exist, there must be some organized way of teaching the members what is expected of them and how they are to behave. Through socialization, the infant develops into a person like one of those described above.

Every society tries to socialize its members. The task is performed by several groups and institutions (called socializing agents). The family, the school, and the peer group (that is, people of the same age) are the most important socializing agents. Of these, the family is the most important, especially during the first few years of life. A review of various studies of families has concluded that warm, supportive, moderately strict family environments usually produce happy and well-behaved children; and that cold, rigid, and overly strict families tend to cause youngsters to become rebe llious, resentful, and insecure.

How, then, do families and other socializing agents teach children to behave? Two important ways are by sanctions (rewards and punishments) and by modeling.

Rewards and punishments

Sanctions are consequences following a behaviour that influence whether the behaviour will be repeated. Positive sanctions mean that the behaviour is followed by something that is a reward. If a child asks a parent "May I have some gum please?" and the parent gives the child some gum, the child learns that saying "please" at the end of a request results in getting what he asked for. Negative sanctions (also known as punishments) mean that something bad happens after a behavior occurs. When a child says "Gimme some gum" and the parent says "No gum until you learn to ask politely" and does not give the child the gum, the child learns that it is not a good idea to speak this way because he does not getwhat he wants.

Modeling

Modeling refers to learning by watching the behaviour of others - espe­cially parents - and copying that behaviour. Modeling influences both positive and negative behaviour. For example, children who are respect­ful to elderly people have probably seen their parents do things such as helping older people onto trains and buses. On the other hand, chil­dren whose parents are alcoholics are more likely than other children to become alcoholics themselves.

Differences across cultures

It is easy to assume that every culture socializes children in the same way. Studies of other cultures, however, show that children are social­ized differently depending on the culture they are brought up in.

A study of 6- to 11-year-old children in six farming communities in the United States, Kenya, Okinawa, northern India, the Philippines, and Mexico is a good example of these studies. Beatrice and John Whiting (1975) found a big difference between the types of household chores that children were expected to do in these cultures. More importantly, they found that parental expectations about work around the house were an important part of children's socialization. Where children were expected to take care of other younger children and do chores that helped the whole household (as in the Kenyan and Mexican commu­nities studied), they quickly learned to be responsible and caring toward others. In communities like the one studied in the United States, where children were only expected to do chores such as clean­ing their rooms and picking up toys, they were less likely to develop these traits at an early age. Of course, not every family in a particular culture socializes their children in exactly the same way - and this would be true of expectations about household chores also. Neverthe­less, many cross-cultural differences in socialization have been identi­fied by researchers.

Other evidence of these differences in socialization practices comes from a study of how traditional Vietnamese and Chinese socialize their children. In these families, the needs of the group are seen as more important than the needs of the individual, and so chil­dren learn that their first responsibility is to their parents rather than to themselves. For example, many children work hard at school so that their parents will be proud of them.

 

Task 3. The text above contains some terms that are crucial for discussing the topic of socialization. These terms are scrambled below. Unscramble them and give their definitions.

Word	Definition
CIAIONSOLIZAT SOLIZECIA LIZCIAINGSO GENATS ONSCTISAN (SITPOIVE, IVEGATNE) HAVEBIOUR (SITPOIVE, IVEGATNE) DELMOING SORCS-RALTULUC FEREFIDCENS ERPE ORUGP

 

Task 4. These words from the text describe different kinds of behaviour: polite, neat, well-be haved, rebellious, resentful, respectful, responsible, caring, kind, rude, cheerful, aggressive, obedient, disobedient, selfish, cruel.

Work with a partner. Write the words in the chart that follows to show which kinds of behaviour are likely to lead to a positive sanction (a reward) and which to a negative sanction (a punishment). Add any other related adjectives you can think of.

Positive sanction	Negative sanction
polite,...	rebellious,...

Task 5. Paraphrase the underlined vocabulary units in the text in the written form. Make up 5 fresh-context sentences with the word combinations you like most.

Task 6. The paragraph below summarizes the text "How We Learn to Behave." Fill in the missing words by looking back at the text.

Socialization is the    process of learning how to behave in the society we live in. The job of socialization is performed by several groups called________________. The family, the school, and the peer group are the most important socializing agents, and of these three, the _________ is the most important, espe­cially in the early years. Two important ways that families and other socializing agents teach children to behave are _________________ and ________________. Sanctions are the ______________ that follow a particular behaviour and influence whether or not the behaviour will be ____________. Sanctions can be positive (______________) or negative (punishments). Modeling is learning by ____________ the behaviour of others -especially parents - and copying that behaviour. Children are socialized differently depending on the _____________ they are brought up in.

 

Task 7. Now write your own summary of the text “How we learn to behave”.

Task 8. Discuss with a small group what you would do if you were the parent in each of the situations below. The information and vocabulary from the text can help you.

1) Your 5-year-old child hits another child without reason while playing. You have never seen him/her do this before.

2) Every night, your 4-year-old child refuses to go to bed.

3) Your 10-year-old child offers to help you clean up the house.

4) Your oldest child, a 16-year-old, has started smoking. You smoke, but do not want your children to smoke.

5) You want your 14-year-old to take care of your younger children when you are at work, but he/she complains, "It's not my job."

Task 9. Read the following letters to a magazine advice column and discuss with the class what you would advise the parent to do.

· Would you advise a positive sanction?

· Would you advise a negative sanction?

· Do you think some behaviour modeling might help, or do you have some other idea?

Letter 1

My 8-year-old son has never been in any trouble before, but just recently he has been getting into big trouble for swearing at school. I'm not sure what to do. My husband and I don't swear very much around the house, but of course, like many people, we do sometimes. My son is usually quite well-behaved, but he does not seem to take any notice of what I say about this. What should I do?

Letter 2

My 6-year-old daughter has been coming home with small toys that do not belong to her. When I ask her about them, she says that another child gave them to her. But it happens so much that I just cannot believe her. I feel I should punish her in some way, but I'm not sure if it would work and if it could even make the problem worse. What should I do?

Letter 3

My youngest child of four, a 3-year-old boy, has a terrible habit of throwing things at people who visit the house. Because people usually laugh at him when he does this, he thinks his behaviour is amusing and keeps doing it. Of course, people usually try to be polite and laugh, but eventually they get upset. It is very embarrassing and I really don't know what to do. Can you help me?

? WRITING

Task 10. Choose one letter in Task 10 and write a short letter of advice in reply.

 

 

9   LISTENING

FAMILY LESSONS

In this section you will hear and take notes on a two-part lecture given by Ms. Beth Handman, an educational consultant. The title of the lecture is Family Lessons. Ms. Handman will explain how children learn lessons within a family, no matter what type of family they come from.

Task 1. Work with a partner. Read the following eight examples of bad behavior in children listed below. Discuss the best and worst ways for parents to react to each of these behaviors. The "best way" means a way that is likely to teach good behavior to the child. The "worst way" is a way that will probably not be successful in teaching good behavior. Make brief notes about your ideas. Then compare your ideas with the group.

1. Sarah, a 2-year old, keeps throwing her food on the floor and cries until her parents pick it up.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.

1. David, a 5-year old, is angry and frustrated. He hits his baby sister.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.

1. Ronnie, a 6-year old, runs up and down the aisles when his parents take him to the supermarket and screams when they tell him to stop.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.

1. Sheila, an 11-year old, is caught copying a classmate's test.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.

1. Stephen, a 12-year old, takes money from his father's wallet.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.

1. Tim, a 13-year-old, begins to smoke cigarettes.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.

1. Erica, a 15-year old, refuses to go to bed until 2 a.m.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.

1. Freddie, a 17-year old, comes home really late and won't explain to his parents where he has been.

Best way to react: ________________________________________________________.

Worst way to react: _______________________________________________________.