The Youth Crisis: A Reflection of Adult Values

Nothing shouts louder about a nation's condition than the habits of its youths. And the habits of youths 'are nothing more than a direct reflection of the adult value system. We all know teenage pregnancy is an international epidemic.

Every fifteen seconds a traffic accident involving an intoxicated driver takes place. Every twenty-three minutes one of our children dies in an automobile crash, and in many cases drugs or alcohol is involved. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death among teenagers. And America is not alone in its youth crisis. The same is true in every other country in the so-called free world and behind much of the "iron curtain". These days, it is "snowing" all over the world as the number of cocaine users expands, with a marked increase in high school and even in junior high school. After all, if "coke" is good enough for sports figures, show business stars, it's good enough for teenagers who desperately want to belong.

What is causing this wave of violent self-destruction and trag­edy? The youth culture with its characteristic epidemics is merely a reflection of the new bankruptcy in morality and inner values. If there are no moral absolutes, if people do what "feels good", ultimately they will lose their integrity and self-respect, and eventually this will lead to personal hopelessness and social chaos.

When self-respect is lacking, people have a long list of "wants". They want love without commitment. They want benefits without working for them; they want satisfaction without responsibility. They want to win the lottery with a one-dollar ticket. All they need is a winning hand. They want to feel good right away, and what could possibly feel better than the standing ovation given to a winner?

"Why Fail When You Can Cheat"?

The win-at-any-cost myth leads many students to the notion it's okay to cheat to get ahead. Good students describe how they get the grades they need to go to a good college by using ingenious crib methods: putting answers on pencils, facial tissues, even calculator jackets. Stealing tests is standard procedure.

Do students cheat simply because they are corrupt, vicious, and no good? No, some of them cheat because they are too lazy to study. The majority of the cheaters, however, justify it because of the pressure. There is pressure to get good grades in high school so they can go to a good college. There will be more pressure in college to get good grades so they can get a good job.

Surely students don't cheat because they are stupid. They employ their native intelligence in countless ways to get on the honor roll or just to get by and get out. One student said it all when he shrugged: "I don't understand why people fail when they have the opportunity to cheat?" It's time to issue a warning call: Success Always Has a Price; What Counts Is Integrity.

Integrity Begins At Home

Like charity, integrity begins at home. One of the greatest gifts we can give children is strong moral and ethical values. Let them accept responsibility for their own actions as early as possible. The more responsibility they develop, the better they will feel about themselves. Accepting responsibility begins early as the toddler learns to do basic chores, such as putting away toys. It's learning to put dirty clothes in the hamper and maintaining a sense of orderliness. As children grow older, they can perform regular chores and learn how to handle money. Never do anything on a regular basis for your children that they are capable of doing for themselves. Your role is to help them become independent, self-sufficient adults who can share their values with others out of mutual respect, not out of dependency.

Above all, teach them how to share and care about the rights and welfare of others. Teach your children that their true rewards in life will depend on the quality and the amount of service they render and that they should always treat others as they would have others treat them. Every "right" has its equal responsibility.

Tragically, many parents raise children with a special-interest-group mentality. Children learn to be more concerned with their rights than their responsibilities. Motivated by fear, laziness, and greed, more people are coming to accept poor productivity, shoddy workmanship, and low or no moral values as standard. Integrity is being replaced by the something-for-nothing, if-it-feels-good I’ll-do-it myths running rampant in the Western World.

If I were writing "Ten Commandments for Parents", one of the most important would be this: thou shall conduct thyself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by thy children. In simpler terms, if your kids shouldn't be doing it, neither should you. Children are sensitive to what you do. When I told my kids to clean their rooms, for example, they took a closer look at the state of disarray in the garage. When I told them that honesty was our family's greatest value, they commented on the radar detector I had installed in my car, and they took a real interest in the way I filled out my tax returns.

When I told them not to engage in taking drugs and drinking, they watched from the upstairs balcony the way our guests behaved at our adult parties.

Let us never forget that children reflect the behavior present in their environment. Second, they do have minds of their own. They can accept or reject our teaching. That's why it is so important to set a good example by our actions every day.

Easier preached than practiced. We go along for a while setting a good example, but sooner or later we start telling ourselves we need a break. We need "to let down our hair" – go out and be ourselves for a change. The trouble is, the kids get confused. They think mom and dad are being themselves by modeling good behavior. When they see the other kind, they are puzzled at first, but then they catch on. They learn to play the game of "say one thing, do another".

One of the highest compliments you could ever be paid is to be told that you are a person of your word. Too many people say that they will do something but later they will give excuses like these: "Oh, I didn't realize you really meant that" or "That isn't exactly what I had in mind". Talk is cheap, but going back on your word is expensive because it costs you your self-respect.

A true friend has the ability to keep a secret and is someone who can be counted on – in good and bad times.

Deeds are always more important than words. And deeds reveal how much you really value yourself.

There is no better way to set an example for others than to be honest.

Honesty doesn't just happen; it is often displayed at tremendous cost and with real sacrifice. Every time you do the right thing instead of the wrong thing, you strengthen everyone and pay tribute to your inner value and self-esteem.

Fidelity in marriage may be growing more scarce than integrity in professional life. Affairs and adultery are riddling families in epidemic proportions. If you are truly concerned about fidelity to your spouse, observe one important rule: Never let friendships with others supersede your relationship with your spouse. Make your spouse your best and trusted friend; best friends do not stab each other in the back.

Integrity is not an option. Integrity is not situational. Integrity is an absolute standard for those who really understand what being the best is all about.

 

Listen To the Children

Take a moment to listen today

To what your children are trying to say.

 

Listen today, whatever you do

Or they won't be there to listen to you.

 

Listen to their problems, listen for their needs,

Praise their smallest triumphs, praise their smallest deeds,

Tolerate their chatter, amplify their laughter,

Find out what's the matter, find out what they're after

 

But tell them that you love them, every single night

And though you scold them, make sure you hold them,

And tell them "Everything's all right."

 

If we tell our children all the bad in them we see

They'll grow up exactly how we hoped they'd never be

But if we tell our children, we're so proud to wear their name

They'll grow up believing they're winners in the game.

 

Take a moment to listen today

To what your children are trying to say.

Listen today, whatever you do

And they will come back to listen to you!

 

Grammar.

1. Pay attention to the following sentences which contain the Complex Object Constructions:

Let them accept responsibility for their actions as early as possible.

…they should treat others as they would have others treat them.

Never let friendships with others supersede your relationship with your spouse.

Make your spouse your best and most trusted friend.

 

2. The following sentence contains archaic forms:

“…thou shalt conduct thyself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by thy children”

Thou – you

Thyself – yourself

Thy – your

Shalt – should

 

3.Emphatic use of ‘do’:

… they do have minds of their own.

 

4.Note the use of an extended attribute in pre-position

A junior-high-school student

he win-at-any-cost myth;

a special-interest-group mentality;

the something-for-nothing myths;

if-it-feels-good-I'll-do-it myths.

 

Comprehension Check

I. Find in the text the sentences that say:

Integrity is a quality that does not let you seek profit and that doesn't depend on the situation.

A nation's condition is judged by the habits of its youths.

The reason of the youth's crises is in the decay of moral standards in the grown-up world.

The world sees more and more drug addicts.

I best three glimpses of life describe a quality which you can't lee m people too often and which today can be seen still more seldom.

They want to show that they are members of a "special, interesting group".

Students who cheat use various ingenious methods to get the highest marks or just get along with satisfactory ones and graduate.

Charity and integrity are both to be raised in children by their parents.

The more responsibility kids feel for others, the more they will come to respect themselves.

You may help your children but never permanently about what they can do themselves.

Teach your children that life will treat them in accordance with how they treat other people.

Let us keep in mind that children's behavior is a replica of the behavior they see in their environment.

Easier said than done.

Honesty is not a thing per se; very often it takes real sacrifice to be honest.

 

2. Find in the text the English equivalents of the following:

To, как ведут себя молодые, есть не что иное, как отражение системы ценностей, существующей в мире взрослых.

Там, где отсутствует самоуважение, появляется длинный список «требований».

Студенты идут на всевозможные ухищрения, чтобы попасть в число отличников, или просто «продержаться» и закончить университет.

Пусть дети научатся отвечать за свои действия с самого детства.

Внушите детям, что жизнь отплатит им добром прямо пропорционально их поступкам и что они должны проявлять к людям такое же отношение, какое ожидают с их стороны к себе.

Увы, многие родители воспитывают в детях сознание принадлежности к особой группе.

Равные права предполагают равную ответственность

Бросаться словами ничего не стоит, но отказ от собственного слова может дорого обойтись (стоить вам самоуважения).

Каждый раз, когда вы совершаете добрый поступок вместо дурного, вы укрепляете веру в добро у других и повышаете собственную внутреннюю ценность и самоуважение.

Пожалуй, честность в супружестве становится вещью более редкой, чем честность в профессиональной жизни.

Семейные измены возрастают в устрашающей пропорции.

 

3. Translate into Russian.

We go along for a while setting a good example, but sooner or later we start telling ourselves we need a break.

Honesty doesn't just happen; it is often displayed at tremendous cost and with real sacrifice.

Deeds are always more important than words. All deeds reveal how much you really value yourself.

Success always has a price; what counts is integrity.

Integrity is not an option.

Integrity is an absolute standard for those who really understand what being the best is all about.

 

Discussion

1. D. Waitley opens this chapter with the "three glimpses of life" in which three different characters reveal the same quality that he describes as "integrity". What human traits make up facets of integrity, as the episodes show?

2. How does D. Waitley define integrity? Is this quality of being honest and upright often met nowadays? What is the author's opinion? Is your opinion different from his?

3. What are the global youth problems the present-day world has to face? What or who is responsible for the youth crises, in D. Waitley's opinion? (In speaking about how the adult world is reflected in the habits of the youth, use the structures:

If it's good enough for... If grown-ups can-- Young people think...)

4. D. Waitley is sure that if integrity is a standing trait of your character, you can respect yourself. If you lose integrity you lose self-respect. Why does D. Waitley think it is dangerous? How are "wants" and self-respect connected?

5. D. Waitley devotes a special paragraph to students who sometimes think that it is just okay to cheat; they see nothing wrong about that. Yet, whatever their attempts to justify themselves (speak about how they do it), such behavior has a name. It is lack of integrity, or, rather, dishonesty. What do you think of it and of the motto, "Why fail if you can cheat?"

6. What does D. Waitley mean by saying that integrity (like charity) begins at home? Find at least six recommendations he gives to the parents who care and who wish their children to become the best they can be.

How does he re-word the familiar saying "Actions speak louder than words"? How is it related to the parents' modeling good behavior? What would his most important commandment for parents be if he were to write the whole ten of them?

7. Why does D. Waitley use so strong a word ("tragically") when speaking about the mistake parents make when they raise their children with a special-group mentality?

8. Read the last three lines of the chapter until you can quote them from your memory.

Now that you know what this chapter is about, complete the frame using the model:

Integrity is keeping your word whatever it costs you. Integrity is standing by your friend... Integrity is... Integrity is also...

9. Read the poem "Listen to the children". Maybe this poem will help you make an understanding parent, a true educator and a friend to your kids when your day comes; what do you think?