The list of politically correct phrases

A Criminal - unsavory character A Crook - morally (ethically) challenged Abortion - Near-Life Experience Alcoholic - Anti-Sobriety Activist Alive - temporarily metabolically abled. An Immigrant - a newcomer Assassination - involuntary term limitation Bald - comb-free Bald - folically independent Bald - follicularly challenged. Battle Fatigued - shellshocked Blind - optically darker Blind - photonically non-receptive Blind - visually challenged Body Odor - nondiscretionary fragrance. Broken Down Automobile - mechanically challenged Broken Home - Dysfunctional Family Bum - Displaced Homeowner Bum - Homeless Person Bum - Involuntarily Domiciled Cannibalism - Intra-Species Dining Censorship - Selective Speech Cheating - Academic Dishonesty China - Porcelain Chronically Late - Temporarily Challenged Clumsy - uniquely coordinated Commercial Fisherman - Flipper Whipper Computer Illiterate - Technologically Challenged Corpse - Permanently Static Post-Human Mass Corpse / Stiff - Metabolically Challenged Corpse / Stiff - Terminally Inconvenienced Cowardly - Challenge Challenged Cowboys - bovine control officers Crackpot - certified astrological consultant, certified crystal therapist, or certified past-life regression hypnotist Crime Rate - street activity index Dead - Actuarially Mature Dead - biologically challenged Dead - environmentally correct human Dead - living impaired Dead - metabolically challenged Dead - persons living with entropy Deaf - Visually Oriented Delicatessen - Corpse Farm Dirty Old Man - sexually focused chronologically gifted individual Dish Washer - utensil sanitizer Dishonest - Ethically disoriented. Dorm - Residence Hall Drooling Drunk Idiot - person on floor Drowning - aquatically challenged Drug Addict - Chemically Challenged Drunk - spacially perplexed Drunk / Junkie - in recovery Earthquake - geological correction Fail - achieve a deficiency. Fat - Differently Weighted Fat - gravitationally challenged Fat - horizontally challenged. Fat - horizontally gifted Fat - People of Mass Fat - person of substance Fictional / Mythological - ontologically challenged Freshman - first-year student Frog - amphibian American Full of Crap - fecally plenary Gang - Youth Group Garbage Man - sanitation engineer Gas Station Attendent - petroleum transfer technician Geek, Nerd, whatever... - socially challenged Ghetto / Barrio - Ethnically Homogenous Area Hamburger - Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh Handicapped - Differently Abled, Handi-Capable Having PMS - cyclically challenged Hearing Person - temporarily aurally abled Homeless - outdoor urban dwellers Homeless - residentially flexible Homelessness - Mortgage-Free Living Housebroken - Family Disfunction Housewife - domestic engineer Hunter - Animal Assassin Hunter - Bambi Butcher Hunter - Meat Mercenary Ignorant - factually unencumbered Ignorant - knowledge-based nonpossessor. Incompetent - Differently Qualified Incompetent - Specially Skilled Incompetent - Uniquely Proficient Insane People - Mental Explorers Insane People - Selectively Perceptive Insult - Emotional Rape Janitor - sanitation engineer Klutz - kinesthetically challenged Large Nose - nasally gifted Lazy - motivationally dispossessed Lazy - motivationally deficient. Learning Disability - Self-Paced Cognitive Ability Library - Educational Resource Center Logger - Wood Weasel Logger - Paper Pirate Logger -Treeslayer Loser - Second Place Loser - uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path Man-hole - maintenance hole Mankind - humankind MANkind, HuMAN, PerSON - Earth Children Mercy Killing - Euthanasia Mercy Killing - Putting Down/To Sleep/Out of Misery Messy - differently organized Meter Maid - Parking enforcer Midget / Dwarf - Little People Midget / Dwarf - Vertically Challenged Mute/Dumb - verbally challenged Not with somebody at the moment - romantically challenged - Off - energy-efficient Old - chronologically gifted Old Person / Elderly - Gerontologically Advanced Old Person / Elderly - Senior Citizens Panhandler - Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding. Paper Bag - processed tree carcass Perverted - Sexually dysfunctional. Pimp-mobile / Low-rider - Culturally Responsive Transportation Option Plagiarism - Previously Owned Prose Po' - financially inept Policeman, Policewoman - law inforcement officer Poor - economically marginalized Poor - Economically Unprepared Poor - monetarily challenged Postman - letter carrier Pregnant - parasitically oppressed. Prisoner - client of the correctional system Prostitute - sex care provider Psychobabble - constructivist feminist psychotherapy Psychopath - socially misaligned Racist - genetically discriminating Really Big Nosed - nasally disadvantaged Redneck - person of region Redneck - rustically inclined Refugees - asylum seekers Road Kill - Vehicularly Compressed Maladapted Life Form Rudeness - Tact Avoidance Runny Nose - nasally gifted Senile Bag o' Bones - Alzheimer's Victim Serial-Killer - Person with difficult-to-meet needs. Shoplifter - Cost-of-Living Adjustment Specialist Short - vertically challenged Sighted Person - temporarily visually abled Slum - Economic Oppression Zone Slut - suffering from a sex addiction (female) Someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone - morally handicapped Spendthrift - negative saver. Stained - creatively re-dyed Steward, Stewardess - flight attendant Stoned - Chemically inconvenienced. Stud - suffering from a sex addiction (male) Stupid - differently-brained Stupid - intellectually impaired The Elderly - Senior citizens Thin - horizontally challenged Thirsty - osmotically challenged Tone Deaf - musically delayed Too old/young - other aged Too Tall - people of height Tree-Hugger - environmental activist Trees - Oxygen Exchange Units Ugly - aesthetically challenged Ugly - Cosmetically different. Ugly - facially challenged Unemployed - Involuntarily leisured. Used Books - Recycled Books Vagrant - Nonspecifically destinationed individual. Vegetable - noble unconscious hero Vice President - Post-Coronary Leader of the Free World Vocal Minority - target equity group Vomiting - Unplanned Reexamination of Recent Food Choices Waiter, Waitress - food server War-Monger - Peacekeeper, patriot Welfare Bum - economically disadvantaged Whaler - Blubber Lover White - melanin-impoverished White American - racially challenged White Boy - rhythmically challenged White Trash - caucasian culturally-disadvantaged Wife - unpaid sex slave Worst - least best. Wrong - differently logical.     Politically Correct Terms For Females: Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold. She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic. She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal. She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased. She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus. She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible. She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive. She does not have big hair, she is overly aerosoled. She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over. She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are centrally located. She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent. She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction. She does not shop too much, she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys. She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive. She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement. She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated. She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever. She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible. She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged. She is not A Gossip, She is a Verbal Terminator She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator. She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior. She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible. She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible. She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated. She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent. She will never gain weight, she will become a metabolic underachiever. You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.     Politically Correct Terms For Males: He does not have a beer gut; he develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility. He does not: Hog the blankets He is: Thermally unappreciative He is not: Unsophisticated He is: Socially malformed He does not: Eat like a pig He suffers from: Reverse bulimia He is not: A sex machine He is: Romantically automated He is not a: Male chauvinist pig He has: Swine empathy He is not: Quiet He is a: Conversational minimalist You do not: Undress him with your eyes You have a: Introspective pornographic moment He is not: Afraid of commitment He is: Monogamously challenged He does not have a: Fabulous rear end He has achieved: Buttocks perfection He is not: Stupid He suffers from: Minimal cranial development He does not: Get lost all the time He discovers: Alternative destinations He is not: Balding He is in: Follicle regression You do not: Buy him a drink You initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange He does not: Fart and belch He is: Gastronomically expressive His jeans are not: Too tight He is: Anatomically under circulated He is not a: Redneck He is a: Genetically-related American You do not: Kiss him You become: Facially conjoined He is not a: Cradle robber He prefers: Generationally differential relationships He does not get: Falling down drunk He becomes: Accidentally horizontal He does not: Act like a total jerk He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial inversion He is not: Short He is: Anatomically compact He does not have a: Rich daddy He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion He does not: Constantly talk about cars He has a: Vehicular addiction He does not have a: Hot body He is: Physically combustible     Politically Correct Phrases For Students: No one fails a class any more, he's merely "passing impaired." You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed." Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined." Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive." Kids don't get grounded any more. They merely "hit social speed bumps." Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience." You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness." You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time." You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome." You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear." No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced." You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective." You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal." You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations." It's not called gossip any more. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information." The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."     Politically Correct Terms For Cat Owners: My cat does not barf hairballs he is a floor/rug redecorator My cat does not break things she helps gravity do its job My cat does not fear dogs they are merely sprint practice tools My cat does not gobble she eats with alacrity My cat does not scratch he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator My cat does not yowl he is singing off-key My cat is not a "shedding machine" she is a hair relocation stylist My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile" she enjoys the proximity of food My cat is not a bed hog he is a mattress appreciator My cat is not a chatterbox she is advising me on what to do next My cat is not a dope addict she is catnip appreciative My cat is not a lap fungus he is bed selective My cat is not a pest she is attention deprived My cat is not a ruthless hunter she is a wildlife control expert My cat is not evil she is badness enhanced My cat is not fat he is mass enhanced My cat is not hydrophobic she has an inability to appreciate moisture My cat is not lazy he is motivationally challenged My cat is not underfoot she is leading me to my next destination (the food dish!)     'Twas The (Politically Correct) Night Before Christmas: 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth." Notice: This poem is copyright 1992 by Harvey Ehrlich. It is free to distribute, without changes, as long as this notice remains intact.     Politically Correct Seasons Greetings: Christmas Thoughts Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year _______, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

Back slang

· " Back slang is a language constructed on lines--I venture to hint illogical lines--of its own. The initial idea is that all words are to be pronounced backwards; for instance, instead of saying 'no' you say 'on,' for 'bad man' you say 'dab nam.' But you have not proceeded far before you find that the initial idea breaks down. 'Penny,' reversed, would be 'ynnep,' the back slangster says 'yennup.' 'Evig em a yennup,' is his version of 'Give me a penny.'... It would be impossible for an English tongue to pronounce many of our words backwards. How would you pronounce 'night' or 'drink' backwards, leaving the spelling as it is? not to speak of more difficult examples. The result is that the 'back slangster' adopts not only an arbitrary spelling, but also an arbitrary pronunciation of his own."
("Slang." All the Year Round: A Weekly Journal Conducted by Charles Dickens, Nov. 25, 1893)

· " Back-slang proper, sometimes employed by barrow-boys and hawkers, and indigenous to certain trades such as the greengrocer's and the butcher's, where it is spoken to ensure that the customer shall not understand what is being said ('Evig reh emos delo garcs dene'--Give her some old scrag end) consists simply of saying each word backwards, and when this is impossible saying the name of the letter instead of its sound, usually the first or the last letter, thus: 'Uoy nac ees reh screckin ginwosh' (You can see her knickers showing). An Enfield master reports that he found 'at least half a dozen boys who could talk it quickly.'"
(Iona and Peter Opie, The Lore and Language of Schoolchildren. Oxford Univ. Press, 1959)

· "Secret languages... have an obvious appeal for those who have something to hide. One language used by African slaves, called TUT, was based on phonetics, and used to help teach children to read. Victorian market traders, meanwhile, are thought to have dreamed up ' back slang '--in which a word is spoken backwards, giving us 'yob' for 'boy'--in order to single out customers on whom to palm off shoddy goods."
(Laura Barnett, "Why We All Need Our Own Secret Slang." The Guardian, June 9, 2009)

Word meaning

beemal lamb

cool look

curp/kcirp prick

dabtros a bad sort (of person)

deeache head

dee-aitch head

deelo nam old man

dello old

delo diam old maid

delo nammow old woman

delo woc old cow

delok cold

doog good

doog eno good one

doog gels good legs

doonups pounds

dos a reno a sod

dratsab bastard

dunop pound

earth three

ecaf face

ecnop ponce

edgabac cabbage

edgenaro orange

eefink knife

eelacs scales

eemoking pew coming up

eemosh home

eenin nine

eeson nose

eevach a kool have a look

eevig give

elbat table

elpa apple

elrig girl

elwoff fowl

emag game

emok nye come in

enif fine

eno one

enob bone

epip pipe

erif fire

erf yennep threepennce

erth three

esaff face

esclop police

eslop police

esroch horse

esuch house

evatch have

evif five

evlenet twelve

exis six

exobs boxes

exxes six

flatch half

flatch yenep half penny

gib teenuck big vagina

gib teesurbs big breasts

helpa an apple

jerknod donkey

kab edis backside

kacab genals back slang

kanits stink

kaycuff foe fuck off

kaynab bank

kayrop pork

kayrop poches pork chops

kenurd drunk

kew week

kirp prick

kool toul look out

kool tour look out

lahteeache all right

larro oral (sex)

leracham mackerel

nam man

namas someone (...is coming)

namesclop policeman

nammo woman

namoh woman

namow woman

neergs greens

neetrith thirteen

nemmo woman

neves seven

nommus someone

nosper a person

nosrap a parson

nottub button

oat two

occabot tobacco

on doog no good

owt two

pew the elop up the pole = pregnant

reeb beer

repap paper

reppock copper

reswort trousers

retchtub butcher

retsio oyster

revlis silver

riach hair

roaf four

rouf four

ruttat tater (potato)

ryache chair

say yes

see yes

sip piss

slabs balls

slabs pew balls up = a mess

slaoc coals

sneerg greens

soush house

spinsrap parsnip

sresworts trousers

sretsio oysters

stoob boots

stun nuts

swags sausages

taff fat

taoc coat

tee-aitch eight

tekram market

Texan rude nam next door man = neighbor

Texan ruder next door

tenip a pint

tib o the delo bit of the old

toac tisaw waistcoat

toch eno hot one = look out!

top o' reeb pot o' beer

torrac carrot

traf fart

traff fart

trat tart

vatch have

wen new

worrab barrow

yorrab barrow

yadnab brandy

yardnarb brandy

yarpoo pay up

yeknod donkey

yellib belly

yenep penny

yennom money

yenork a crown

yob boy

yobbo boy

zeb best

A very interesting collection of the newest slang terms from Londonslang.com!!!!!

Just Heard

aeroplane blond - one who has dyed her hair but still has a 'black box"!

aeroplane skirt - a skirt with a very long slit up it that goes all the way up to the 'cockpit'. Suggested by Matthew Harris.

April in Paris - a bit of a weird one this. This is taking well-known complex bit of Rhyming Slang to the next level! 'April in Paris' = 'Aris' = 'Aristotle' = 'bottle' = 'bottle and glass' = 'arse'! Suggested by Alec Sterling.

back wheels - balls, testicles. An example of this excellent suggestion from James Muir would be "Cor, I got a great blowjob last night, she even got me back wheels in!". You could also use vulgar terms like "Right up to the back wheels" etc.

badger scratching - to feel a woman's vagina. i.e. "Wouldn't mind doin' a bit of badger scratching with her". Suggested by Simon Dodson.

badly packed kebab - a vulgar (but still excellent) term for the 'vagina'. Suggested by Catherine Schrier (which makes it more OK to put on the site!). This one will do the rounds I'm sure.

Barry White - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shite' (northern sounding version of shit). e.g. "Just nipping out for a Barry!". Suggested by Matt Rodway.

Basil Boli (footballer) - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'tolli/toley/toly' which apparently is Scottish slang for 'turd'?? e.g. "I'm just nipping out for a Basil". Suggested by Derek Dunbar.

Bazil Brush - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'thrush' (the condition). Suggested by Lee McCloud. Also 'dust pan and brush'.

Battle of Hastings - meaning 'history'. A term I heard on the TV show 'Game On'. It was used in the context of a relationship - "No mate, she's Battle of Hastings". Anyone know of this one?

Beatrix Potter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'rotter' (ugly 'bird'), e.g. "Blimey, will you look at that bird Tim's with. A bit of a Beatrix!". Suggested by Tim Green.

beer scooter - the ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it, i.e. "I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have got the beer scooter".

Billy Bunter's - Modern (?) Rhyming Slang for 'punters' (customers), e.g. "Oi John, there's some Billys on the forecourt". Suggested by Gary Foster.

Billy-two-sheds - an excellent one on the same lines as ' Billy-no-mates '. The sort of bloke who, no matter what you have, always has one more or does one better. Suggested by Chris Donnelly.

bitch piss - 'girlie' drinks, i.e. vodka coolers and other alcopops. Suggested by Mark Nolan and already used by me and my mates! "What's that bitch piss you're drinking, get a pint dahn yer".

blob hammock - original suggestion for sanitary towel by Glenn Atkins.

Bob Marley - another Modern Rhyming Slang term for 'charlie' (cocaine). If used in it's short form (i.e. 'Bob') it could be confused with the older term 'Bob Hope' (dope).

Brad Pitt - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shit'. This seems to be a relatively popular one at the moment.

Britney Spears - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Give us a couple of Britneys will ya Doreen". Suggested by Max Barber as seen on 'The Big Breakfast' TV show.

Bruce Lees - erect nipples (as in a pair of hard 'nips'). Suggested by Helen Shemilt.

budgie's tongue - clitoris, e.g. "You know how it is mate, you find the budgie's tongue and bingo!".

Bum Gravy - This one speaks for itself! You may get this after a dodgy ruby. Suggested by Keith Giles.

bunny boiler - an unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. "I don't like the look of her mate, could be a bunny boiler". Suggested by Paul Webb and also by Tristian Paramor.

busted sofa - an excellent term for an overweight woman wearing a tight dress/trousers. Suggested by Ray Connor.

Cecil (Gee) - a new slang term for a thousand pounds (a 'G' is an old term for a 'grand' which is a thousand). Used by Johhny Vaughn and heard by Matt Helm.

cheesy quaver - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'raver'. Suggested by Philipp Thuering who says he saw this one in a book.

Chevy Chase - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'face', e.g. "Nice Mystics shame about the Chevy".

chicken jalfrezi - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'crazy'. Chris Kelly suggested this one.

chubby chaser - a person attracted to fat people (usually after much beer). Suggested by Paula.

council gritter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shitter', e.g. "Does she take it up the council?". Suggested by Sean Perry.

cup fart - the funny sound made when you don't quite slurp your tea. Suggested by Smitty.

custard pie - meaning: turned down by a girl, i.e. "I got the custard pie from that bird over there". (Suggested by Tamir Young.)

Danny La Rue - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'clue', i.e. "I haven't a Danny mate!". Suggested by Andy Lock.

David Gower - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shower', e.g. "Give us half an hour mate, I've gotta go for a David".

Donald Trump - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'dump' (defecate), e.g. "I'm just nipping out for a Donald".

drink-link - a modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze! Suggested by Allan.

drop the kids off at the pool - to defecate. This seems like a popular one at the moment and has been suggested by many. Maybe originates from the comic Viz, although Gregg from the USA reports that this was popular there in the early 80s.

drum and bass - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'face', i.e. "Nice body, shame about the drum". Suggested by John Mortimer.

Easy Rider - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'cider', i.e. "Give us a pinta Easy mate". Suggested by Brian MacDonald.

Edinburgh Fringe - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'minge' (vagina). Suggested by Alan.

Elephant and Castle - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'arsehole'. From the well-known area in London. I have heard this before but am not sure how widespread it is. Suggested by Malcolm Kinsley.

Euaned - to get very drunk. A reference to Tony Blair's son's drunken antics reported in the press. e.g. "I got completely Euaned last night!". Thanks to Sam Sharp.

feeding the pony - to arouse a woman using one's digits! Suggested by Nicola Fleet. Also see ' badger scratching '.

(to) figure of eight it - to suggest a girl has a slack vagina, i.e. "Blimey, you'd' av to figure of eight it to get any pleasure from it!". Suggested by Jon Krinks.

fish licker - lesbian. Suggested by Glenn Atkins.

fishmonger - slang term for 'lesbian'. Anyone else use this? Suggested by Jon Krinks.

Flight Lieutenant Biggles - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'giggles', e.g. "I had a bad case of the Flight Lieutenants". Suggested by Jon Macfarlane who saw this in an Irvine Welsh book.

float a sausage to the seaside - to have a shit. A term that has been suggested by a few people. This one is one of many similar phrases (see ' see a brown friend off to the coast ', ' drop the kids off at the pool ') which may originate from the comic Viz.

Frank and Pat - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'chat', e.g. "Do you ever stop your Frank and Pat!". After the well-known couple in Eastenders, the UK soap.

front/four wheel skid - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Yid' (Jew). Suggested by Simon.

furry monkey - slang term for vagina. As used by Daisy Donovan on Channel 4's 'Eleven O'Clock Show'.

gentleman's relish - spunk/sperm. Another great suggestion from Jon Krinks.

George and Zippy - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'nippy' (cold). After the bizarre puppet duo from the children's TV series 'Rainbow'. Suggested by Matt Wrixon.

Gianluca Vialli - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Charlie' (cocaine). Suggested by a few people.

glazey dougnut - a gross term describing what you get round your mouth after a woman has finished sitting on your face. Suggested by Steve.

Gorillas in the Mist - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'pissed' (drunk). Not sure if this is widespread or not. Suggested by John-T.

greyhound - a very short skirt. From the fact that a greyhound (on a race track) is close to the hare (hair), i.e. "Blimey, look at the greyhound on that bird!". Suggested by Tim Golding.

hanging bacon - womens 'bits'. Bit of a rude one suggested by Tania Baird.

Hale and Pace - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'face'. Named after the comedy duo, e.g. "When you're stoking the fire you don't worry about the Hale!". Suggested by Nick Rogers.

Harry-big-button - One of my favourites, this comes from a friend of mine and is used to describe cheap-looking electrical goods with big buttons and naff design. An example would be "I've got a new car, it's alright but the stereo's a bit Harry-big-button'. This one tends to catch on with others and I would be very interested if anyone else had heard it. (Suggested by R. Bushby.) I've had one email on this saying from a Brian Jones who uses the term "Harry-clunk-buttons" after those cheap Harry Moss car stereos. I think these car stereos are probably the origin of Harry-big-button.

Hattie Jacques - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shakes', i.e. "After that booze up I 'ad a bad case of the Hatties". Suggested by Christine Cusick.

have a tower! - slang for 'have an eyeful', i.e. 'Eiffel'. Suggested by Al.

huger than soup - something that is a big deal or a big event. Suggested by Kel. Anyone else use this one?

Jackson Pollock(s) - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'bollocks' (testicles). e.g. "He needs a good kick in the Jacksons".

Janet Street-Porter - Modern Rhyming Slang for a 'quarter' (of hashish).

Jean-Michel Jarre - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'bar', e.g. "Oi, Simon, get up to the Jean Michel, will ya!?". Suggested by Simon Scott.

jockeys' whips - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'trips' (LSD). Suggested by Keith Giles.

Johnny-no-stars - a young man of substandard intelligence, i.e. the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' bit comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear which show their level of training.

Johnny Vaughn - it's only right that the man from 'The Big Breakfast' who has popularised many slang terms should have one using his moniker. This one is Modern Rhyming Slang for 'porn' (pornography). Heard and suggested by Matt Helm.

kryptonite - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'web site'. One of the few terms I've heard for this. Suggested by Chris Lambeth.

kung fu fighter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'lighter'. Suggested by Toby Stokes.

Leo Sayer - an 'all-dayer' (drinking or a rave etc).

Lou Reed - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'speed' (the drug). Suggested by Ken Anderson.

Melvyn Bragg - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'fag' (cigarette), e.g. "Oi mate, can I scrounge a Melvyn off you?".

Millenium Dome - Modern Rhyming Slang for ''phone' (a modern replacement for 'dog and bone' perhaps), e.g. "Yeah, she gave me a tinkle on the Millenium Dome last night". Suggested by James Kicul.

Milton Keynes - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'jeans'. Suggested by Lee Murthwaite.

Mork and Mindy - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'windy', i.e. "It's a little bit Mork and Mindy today, innit?". Suggested by Barbara Andruccioli.

mumblers - used when you spot an attractive girl in tight shorts or similar clothes, i.e. you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying. Suggested by Andy Beamish.

Nelson Mandela - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager). Suggested by Mark Hayward.

Niki Lauda - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'powder' (cocaine). e.g. "It's at times like this I could really handle a bit of Niki". Suggested by Tim Manning.

Norris McWhirter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'squirts' (what you get after a bad curry!). Suggested by Jon Macfarlane.

one in the departure lounge - to need to defecate imminently. Suggested by Sharon Cooper.

panty hamster - original slang term for the vagina. Suggested by Dan Sparrow.

Pat Cash - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'slash' (to urinate). A modern version of 'Jack/Frasier Nash'. Suggested by Jason Bicknell.

Paul Weller - another bit of Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the beer Stella Artois). Suggested by Tom Willis.

Pearl Harbour - cold (weather). This is one I have heard from a fair few people recently. An example of it would be "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there!". Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air! This comes from the well-known surprise attack by Japanese planes on the American port in Hawaii in 1941 (history lesson over). Suggested by Lawrence Gore and by Matt Grimshaw.

pictures of the queen - paper money, notes. e.g. "How do you want payin'?" "Pictures of the queen mate!" Suggested by Dan Adams.

polo mint - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'skint', e.g. "I can't afford those shoes, I'm a bit polo this week". Suggested by David Webb.

porridge wog - a rather un-PC term for a Scottish person.

puppy rubbing - to stroke a woman's breasts. Suggested by Simon Dodson.

ragman's coat - untidy and very hairy vagina, e.g. "Yeah, she looks quite fit but I bet she's got one like a ragman's coat!"

rat with a wig on - slang for an ugly woman.

release a chocolate hostage - to defecate. Have heard this one from a few people, e.g. " I'm just nipping out to release a chocolate hostage".

ricockulous - a more extreme version of the word 'ridiculous'. Good for when you want to add more emphasis. Suggested by Adam Pyne.

salad dodger - an excellent phrase for an overweight person. Suggested by a few people.

Samantha Janus - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'anus'. After the popular bit of British totty. Suggested by Ian Atkinson.

Schindler's List - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'pissed' (drunk). Suggested by Kevin Joslin.

scope - a replacement for the un-pc term 'spastic' used by many a school child to ridicule someone inept or stupid. I think this was at least part of the reason the charity 'The Spastic Society' changed their name to 'SCOPE'. Trust slang terms to update with it! Suggested by Vincent Duckworth.

see a brown friend out to the coast - have a shit. One of many new phrases for going to the toilet. Suggested by Trevor Burton.

(to) shake hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree - to masturbate. Humorous phrase heard by Jon Krinks on the UK TV show 'The League of Gentlemen'.

skin chimney - excellent (but disgusting of course) term for vagina. Suggested by Lee Murthwaite.

spam fritter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shitter' (anus). Similar to ' Garry Glitter '. Suggested by Ken Anderson.

spit roast - for a woman to be penetrated by two men from both ends at the same time. A phrase I have heard on many occasions but am not sure how well-known it is. Suggested by Nicholas Barr.

steak drapes - an alternate version of the popular phrase 'beef curtains', a vulgar description of the vagina. Suggested by Mark James.

Steve McQueens - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'jeans'. Suggested by Steve Ashton.

swamp donkey - an unattractive woman, e.g. "Blimey, have you seen those swamp donkeys sitting in the corner!".

swede - 'head'. As in "you're doin' me swede in mate, shut it will ya!". From the vegetable.

sword fighting - a term for when a woman performs oral sex on two men at the same time.

Tarka (the otter) - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'dot her. A bit of an odd one this, but to 'dot' someone is to perform anal intercourse on them (because the anus resembles a full stop), e.g. "Oi mate, did you Tarka?". Suggested by Stuboy.

tart fuel - similar to 'bitch piss', bottled alcopops regularly drunk by young women. Suggested by Paul McCloskey.

tea towel holder - the anus. Derived from the fact that those round plastic holders that you push tea towels into resemble the anus. Suggested by Andrew Riley.

TFTF - Too fat to fuck. Typically after a curry, meal out or similar, something your wife/girlfriend can whisper to you on the way home from an evening out. Suggested by Big Gay Al.

Thora Hird - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'turd', e.g. "Just nipping out for a Thora". I've heard this one before but I'm not sure how popular it is. Suggested by Jason Bicknell.

TMT - meaning 'That's mine tonight'. When pointing out to your mates a girl to be retained in memory in order to masturbate once home. A rather sad, but excellent term suggested by R Ashworth.

Tony (Blair) - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'hair', i.e. "I'm off to get my Tony cut". Suggested by Adrian Lord.

toothless gibbon - inventive term for the vagina. Suggested by Jon Krinks.

tromboning - this disgusting term describes a sexual act where someone has their face in a bloke's arse (probably felching), whilst giving them a hand job. The action appears similar to that of someone playing the trombone. Suggested by Sam Sharp.

tropical fish - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'piss', pron. 'pish' (in a Scottish way). An example of an abbreviated way of using it would be to say "I'm off for a tropie". Suggested by Michael Rees.

Turkish bath - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'laugh', e.g. "You're 'avin a Turkish mate!". Suggested by W Sparks.

Turkish delight - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shite'. Suggested by Skip.

up on blocks - having a period (menstruating), i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage, e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".

vertical bacon sandwich - vulgar term for the vagina.

Vincent Van Gogh - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'cough'. As in "That's a nasty Vincent you've got there". Suggested by Paul.

Wallace and Gromit - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'. Suggested by Bob Pearce.

wigger - a white man who is trying to act like a black man. Especially applied to a white rapper, i.e. Vanilla Ice. Suggested by Tony Beadle.

wind and kite - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'web site'. Suggested by Abbie Jones.

wizard's sleeve - a large (cavernous) vagina. I've had this suggested from a number of people and think it may be a creation of the 'Viz' comic (popular in the UK).

wunch - Spoonerism - collective noun used exclusively for members of the Banking profession, as in "A Wunch of Bankers" (think about it!). Suggested by Smitty.

Wyatt Earp - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'burp'. Suggested by Jonn-T.

Wynona Ryder - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. Suggested by James Mellor, e.g. "Can I have a pinta Wynona and half a Nelson".

zart - A fart like sound emitted from the vagina, often after roudy sex. Suggested by Smitty.

Film Slang