Retell the text “The Doctor and the Painter” in indirect speech.

 

IV. At Leisure

Jokes

Read and retell the jokes to your friends.

1. Enviable Growth

YOUNG MOTHER: Our baby puts on about two pounds a month.

YOUNG FATHER: Some babies put on weight. I know one that is fed on elephant's milk. It puts on ten pounds daily,

YOUNG MOTHER: Oh, Tom! You say it to tease me. I can't believe it.

YOUNG FATHER: Sure enough he does.

YOUNG MOTHER: Whose baby is it?

YOUNG FATHER: The elephant's, naturally.

 

2.

“Doctor” a lady said loudly, entering the room, “tell me frankly what’s wrong with me.”

He looked at her and said: “Madam, I have three things to tell you:

First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds.

Second, your beauty will be improved if you use about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick.

And third, I am an artist – the doctor lives on the next floor.”

3.

In a cemetery in darkness, a grief-stricken man stood over a grave for five days continuously, beating his breast, and repeating in mournful cadence. “Why did he have to die? Why did he have to die?”

An attendant sought to console him, and asked: “Was the deceased your father, maybe a brother?”

“Neither,” sobbed the mourner. “He was my wife’s first husband.”

4.

"Ah," said the doctor looking into one eye, "It's easy to see what the matter is! This is not just eye trouble, it's a disorder of the nervous system. There are all the signs of liver trouble, of fatty degeneration of the heart, and of bad circulation. The only thing I can recommend is..."

"Wait a minute!" cried the patient. "Isn't it about time you looked at the other eye? That's my glass one, you know."

 

5.

“Father, shall I be an ear specialist or a tooth specialist?”

“Choose the teeth, my boy, everyone has thirty-two of them but only two ears.”

6.

Hopkins: Why is your head bandaged?

Bobkins: I collided with a flying saucer.

Hopkins: You don’t say so. Where did you meet with it?

Bobkins: In my home.

 

7.

The young nurse came into the doctor’s inner office for the third time.

“Doctor,” she said, “I’m having trouble with that patient you told me to examine. I’ve taken his pulse three times now and it’s beating at an incredible rate. What’ll I do?”

The doctor looked at her for a moment, and said:

“How old is the patient, miss Jones?”

“Twenty-one”.

“Well, try once more, but this time button your blouse.”

8.

Here is the epitaph on a doctor’s tombstone:

Stranger! Approach this spot with gravity!

John Brown is filling his last cavity.

 

9.

Patient: Doctor, I’m becoming deaf. I can hardly hear how I cough.
Doctor: Take these pills.

Patient: Will they improve my hearing?

Doctor: No, you’ll cough louder.

 

10.

Once a young Frenchman came to the doctor. “Oh,” said he, “I have a terrible headache, help me please.”

The doctor decided to try a new method and said to the patient:

“Repeat three times the sentence – I am well.”

The patient did it and felt much better. He told the doctor about it.

“500 franks,” said the doctor, satisfied with the results.

“Repeat three times the sentence – I am paid – and it will help you,” said the patient.

Crossword puzzle

 

Across clues

1. inflammation of the throat 4. a disease that makes your joints or muscles painful or stiff 7. a combination of several liquid ingredients used for treating 9. a special vehicle used for taking people who are ill or injured to hospital 12. a permanent mark on your skin after you have had a cut or wound 14. physical condition 15. to become unconscious for a short time 17. diseased growth in some part of the body 18. a piece of paper on which a doctor writes what medicine a sick person should have 21. to protect someone against a disease, usually by injecting them with a weak form of it 22. a period during which you laugh or cough a lot 23. artificial (tooth)

 

Down clues

2. a small sharp piece of wood, glass, metal that has broken off a larger piece 3. to clean the inside of your mouth and throat with water or medicine 5. an infectious illness which makes your neck swell and become painful and is common among children 6.a narrow piece of cloth that you tie around the part of the body that has been injured 8. a place where people go for holidays or treatment 10. an injury or mark caused by fire, heat, acid 11. a pain 13. the sound produced by air out of your throat when you have a cold 16. the passage from the back of your mouth to the top of the tubes that go down to your lungs 19. a burn caused by hot liquid or steam 20. a building where sick or injured people receive medical treatment

 

 

Proverbs About Health

1. An apple a day keeps a doctor away.

2. Desperate diseases must have desperate remedies.

3. Diseases are the interests of pleasures.

4. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

5. Good health is above wealth.

6. Health is not valued till sickness comes.

7. The remedy is worse than the disease.

8. Time is the great healer.

9. Agues come on horseback, but go away on foot.

11. An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.

12. He that lives with cripples learns to limp.

Poems About Health

 

Twelve Easy Lessons

Here am I learning First-Aid:

Learning to bandage with care.

Eyes on the book, I'm afraid,

Knotting that bandage affair.

Learning to bandage with care,

Daily I practice the art,

Knotting that bandage affair,

Patiently pull it apart.

Daily I practice the art,

Tying a fracture in splints,

Patiently pull it apart,

Watching the textbook for hints.

Sheila Pritchard

A Dream