Finnish Portable Sauna, 1962

Hubbard Electrometer, 1968

This device was invented by Volney Mathison, who was collaborating with Hubbard in his experiments. Hubbard claims that the device is capable of measuring whether vegetables and fruits feel pain or not. He tested it on tomatoes and claimed that the tomatoes “screamed when sliced’. The original use of this device is restricted by the Church of Scientology for professionals. It is based as a religious practice by trying to gain knowledge of spiritual freedom of a soul. This device neither fulfills any religious claims properly not does it gives any use to the vegetable experiment that was claimed by Hubbard. Leaving the spiritual artifact side alone, it also lacks proper reasoning for its methods of practice and results, which are controversial. The lack of proper structure and explanation has already made its practice restricted scientifically.

Finnish Portable Sauna, 1962

Now, this is funnier than you can imagine. What is a sauna experience if you carry it around anywhere and everywhere with you? Is it making you feel great? Well, the truth is it isn’t any good as real sauna. Besides its funny structure narrows all your scope to relax while you are having one. If you can afford something that might be of no use any further, but looks like a luxury, this portable sauna is just the thing. It was criticized for its model, shape, quality and even its idea in its time.

Baby Cage, 1937

These Baby Cages were available in London to Chelsea Baby Club members to facilitate them to hang the baby in the cage outside the window. They didn’t have any gardens or any specific place where they can leave their babies when they cannot be left in the house or the streets. So this was the alternative. It sure didn’t work but it was still imagined that parents would want to hang their children outside of high block window for the baby’s entertainment! With a baby, so sensitive and soft to handle, it is hard to imagine that someone did invent this baby cage as a useful thing.

 

Illuminated Tires, 1961

We have black tires in automobile and technology is devoted in making them more efficient for the weight of the automobile and their torque (крутящий момент). However, this invention was entirely different. The automobile had Illuminated Tires, not one but all four of them! It was still a limelight (друммондов свет, прожектор) for its degree of entertainment. Otherwise, it was completely useless for any automobile.

Shower Hood, 1970

Would you like to take a refreshing bath first and then put on makeup, or reverse the process? Please don’t be surprised. This Shower Hood (капюшон) is designed to help women want to put on makeup first and then proceed with cleaning their face. This invention was only useful for being in the dumb inventions category. It has absolutely no use otherwise.

Mini Television, 1966

Perhaps, Clive Sinclair, the inventor of the mini television was more about how small a TV can be. So he invented a TV on which the picture cannot be seen clearly by naked eyes. The glasses that are worn to see the picture are very thick. Now, would you want to minimize your entertainment experience to its limit where your eyes might start hurting? The answer is no. This invention was only useful from display point of view.

 

Cat-Mew Machine, 1963

A device to scare off rats and other rodents (грызуны) from the house might be useful. However, the useful becomes expenditure if it is powered by a two watt motor. This Cat-Mew Machine was invented for the same purpose. Although, it didn’t serve as any useful invention of its time.

The 10 tenents of chindogu

1. A chindogu cannot be for real use.
It is fundamental to the spirit of chindogu that inventions claiming chindogu status must be, from a practical point of view, (almost) completely useless. If you invent something which turns out to be so handy that you use it all the time, then you have failed to make a chindogu. Try the patent office.
2. A chindogu must exist.
You are not allowed to use a chindogu, but it must be made. You have to be able to hold it in your hand and think: 'I can actually imagine someone using this. Almost.' In order to be useless, it must first be.
3. Inherent in every chindogu is the spirit of anarchy.
Chindogu are man-made objects that have broken free from the chains of usefulness. They represent freedom of thought and action: the freedom to challenge the suffocating historical dominance of conservative utility; the freedom to be (almost) useless.
4. Chindogu are tools for everyday life.
Chindogu are a form of nonverbal communication understandable to everyone, everywhere. Specialized or technical inventions, like a three-handled sprocket loosener for drainpipes centered between two under-the sink cabinet door (the uselessness of which will only be appreciated by plumbers), do not count.

5. Chindogu are not for sale.

Chindogu are not tradable commodities. If you accept money for one you surrender your purity. They must not even be sold as a joke.

6. Humor must not be the sole reason for creating a chindogu. The creation of chindogu is fundamentally a problem-solving activity. Humor is simply the by-product of finding an elaborate or unconventional solution to a problem that may not have been that pressing to begin with.

7. Chindogu is not propaganda.

Chindogu are innocent. They are made to be used, even though they cannot be used. They should not be created as a perverse or ironic comment on the sorry state of mankind.

8. Chindogu are never taboo. The international chindogu society has established certain standards of social decency. Cheap sexual innuendo, humor of a vulgar nature, and sick or cruel jokes that debase the sanctity of living things are not allowed.

9. Chindogu cannot be patented. Chindogu are offerings to the rest of the world, they are not therefore ideas to be copyrighted, patented, collected and owned. As they say in Spain, 'mi chindogu es tu chindogu'.

10. Chindogu are without prejudice. Chindogu must never favor one race or religion over another. Young and old, male and female, rich and poor, all should have a free and equal chance to enjoy each and every chindogu.

To update this history, designboom asks its readers to participate: you can look everywhere for current useless inventions, including catalogs, department stores and ads, or the internet. Once you locate it, please send a pic to [email protected].

credits: since 1995 edward p. Dutkiewicz, a registered patent attorney, posted a 'wacky patent of the month'
on his office's website http://colitz.com/site/index.htm ted van cleave is himself an inventor of the weird. He launched his web site 'totally absurd inventions' in 1997 after conducting patent research for his own wacky invention, 'inflatable greeting cards'. Http://www.totallyabsurd.com
---
kenji kawakami was editor of a popular Japanese

home shopping magazine, in which the concept
of 'chindogu' was first born.
He is the founder of the 10,000-strong international
chindogu society - for the better understanding and
appreciation of the tenets of chindogu.
Kawakami is author of four books of unuseless
inventions, among them:
'101 unuseless japanese inventions' of 1995
and '99 more unuseless japanese inventions'
of 1997 published by harper collins publishers.
Http://www.harpercollins.com
see the interview with kenji kawakami
http://www.japaninc.com/article.php?articleid=762

 

FISHING APPARATUS
WILLIAM R. LAMB
patented february 20, 1894
image courtesy edward p. dutkiewicz

 

SALUTING DEVICE
JAMES C. BOYLE
patented march 10, 1896
image courtesy edward p. dutkiewicz

 

EYE PROTECTOR FOR CHICKENS
ANDREW JACKSON, JR.
patented december 10, 1902
image courtesy edward p. dutkiewicz

 

MIRROR SUPPORT
E. A. & E. W. THAYER
patented may 23, 1905
image courtesy edward p. dutkiewicz

 

FIRE-ESCAPES
PASQUALE NIGRO
patented february 9, 1909
image courtesy edward p. dutkiewicz

 

FINGERTIP TOOTHBRUSH
US patent 5,875,513 / issued 1999
image courtesy ted van cleave

 

ALARM FORK
US patent 5,421,089 / issued 1995
image courtesy ted van cleave

 

NOSE WIPE
US patent 4,365,889 / issued 1985
image courtesy ted van cleave

 

INSTANT FACE LIFT
US patent 4,995,379 / issued 1991
image courtesy ted van cleave

 

'butter stick' (not patented), 1995
courtesy kenji kawakami

'food cooler' (not patented), 1997
courtesy kenji kawakami

'drymobile' (not patented), 1997
courtesy kenji kawakami

'duster slippers' (not patented), 1995
courtesy kenji kawakami

'needs washing' (not patented), 1995
courtesy kenji kawakami

http://www.totallyabsurd.com/inventions.htm

 

Британские ученые занимаются самыми странными и бесполезными исследованиями в мире. Услышав словосочетание «британские ученые», мы всегда ждем рассказов об очередном невероятном исследовании, на которое было потрачено много денег и которое абсолютно бесполезно с практической точки зрения.

Hubbard Electrometer, 1968

This device was invented by Volney Mathison, who was collaborating with Hubbard in his experiments. Hubbard claims that the device is capable of measuring whether vegetables and fruits feel pain or not. He tested it on tomatoes and claimed that the tomatoes “screamed when sliced’. The original use of this device is restricted by the Church of Scientology for professionals. It is based as a religious practice by trying to gain knowledge of spiritual freedom of a soul. This device neither fulfills any religious claims properly not does it gives any use to the vegetable experiment that was claimed by Hubbard. Leaving the spiritual artifact side alone, it also lacks proper reasoning for its methods of practice and results, which are controversial. The lack of proper structure and explanation has already made its practice restricted scientifically.

Finnish Portable Sauna, 1962

Now, this is funnier than you can imagine. What is a sauna experience if you carry it around anywhere and everywhere with you? Is it making you feel great? Well, the truth is it isn’t any good as real sauna. Besides its funny structure narrows all your scope to relax while you are having one. If you can afford something that might be of no use any further, but looks like a luxury, this portable sauna is just the thing. It was criticized for its model, shape, quality and even its idea in its time.

Baby Cage, 1937

These Baby Cages were available in London to Chelsea Baby Club members to facilitate them to hang the baby in the cage outside the window. They didn’t have any gardens or any specific place where they can leave their babies when they cannot be left in the house or the streets. So this was the alternative. It sure didn’t work but it was still imagined that parents would want to hang their children outside of high block window for the baby’s entertainment! With a baby, so sensitive and soft to handle, it is hard to imagine that someone did invent this baby cage as a useful thing.

 

Illuminated Tires, 1961

We have black tires in automobile and technology is devoted in making them more efficient for the weight of the automobile and their torque (крутящий момент). However, this invention was entirely different. The automobile had Illuminated Tires, not one but all four of them! It was still a limelight (друммондов свет, прожектор) for its degree of entertainment. Otherwise, it was completely useless for any automobile.